Portrait of a Servant Girl – Meggan’s Story Part 2

“And that’s how you have three kids in a year and a half!”  Meggan grinned and slapped the table with the palm of her hand.  “I didn’t do it gracefully, but boy did I learn, AND I don’t argue with Him anymore,”  she emphasized.  “We are still a work in progress,” she continued.  “It is as imperfect as imperfect can be.”

The year and a half Meggan was referring to was from roughly December 2012 to March 2014.  During this time, she and Dane would adopt two daughters from Uganda, endure two miscarriages, and give birth to a biological daughter.

Consequently, it was also during this time that Meggan told God no when He clearly told her what He had for her to do.

“I literally stomped my foot and said no!”  She declared.  It happened as they were in the midst of adopting their first daughter, Faith…but let’s back up a bit more first.

In October 2011, Dane and Meggan decided – next year, it’s baby time!

“We didn’t care if it was biological, through adoption, or both.  Dane’s mom was adopted, so it was always in the plan for us to adopt anyway, especially once we got into missions,” Meggan explained.

While on one such mission trip to Uganda in January 2012, the couple realized that God had international adoption planned for them.

“We came together immediately on this,” Meggan reported.

Through friends, the found out about the HOPE Center, an orphanage in Uganda run by an American family.

“We started talking to Angie online, and that’s how we found Faith Hope – a newborn who was at the HOPE. Center and needed a family.  We knew she was our daughter, so we began the process of getting everything together,” Meggan relayed the events to me.  You see, Dane and Meggan’s last name is Love, so Faith’s name would be Faith Hope Love!  (She even has her own Bible verse).  It was immediately obvious to the couple that they were meant to adopt Faith.

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Photo Credit: Pinterest

It was May 2012, and as they were making this decision, Meggan also had a positive pregnancy test.  They happily thought, ‘We’ll have two babies at one time!’

However, Meggan had a miscarriage within two weeks; the doctors called this a “chemical pregnancy.”

Shortly before leaving for Uganda to bring home Faith late in 2012, Meggan and Dane again found out they were pregnant.  They had an ultrasound and saw the baby and a strong heartbeat.  Again, they had hope that they would adopt AND have a biological baby.  They were exhilarated.

At this time, Angie also showed them a picture of another girl named Joyce.

“Angie wanted us to adopt Joyce, too!  But she told us Joyce was 5, and I could tell by her picture that she was older than 5!”  Meggan said.  “I told her I would pray about it, but I didn’t.  Then, I told her no,” Meggan admitted.

This made it a bit difficult when they arrived at the HOPE Center in Uganda.  Angie continued to try to persuade them to adopt Joyce as well.  “I kept thinking, ‘I’ve never been a mom before!  I’m about to take home an infant and then have another shortly after!  That’s all I can handle right now…’  So, I kept saying no,” Meggan shrugged her shoulder.

The day Meggan and Dane saw Faith for the first time, they were also introduced to Joyce.  “The moment I saw her, God told me she was going to be our daughter.  But I was still defiant.  I stomped my foot and said no!”

Everything was going as smoothly as it could with the adoption processor Faith, and Dane and Meggan were looking forward to going home soon with their daughter when Meggan went into preterm labor and suffered another miscarriage.

“It was devastating,” Meggan said flatly.  “Here I thought I’d show up at the airport with Faith AND a baby bump, but that wasn’t going to happen.”

And there was still the prodding to adopt Joyce as well.

‘It’s funny,” Meggan paused.  “I was saying no and stomping my foot and all that, but I knew Joyce was going to be our daughter, too.”

After experiencing the miscarriage, they almost decided in Uganda to adopt Joyce at the same time they adopted Faith, but the Lord convicted Meggan.  “He told me, ‘you did not pray about this.  This is emotional.  It’s quick.  You didn’t seek wise counsel.’  Dane was frustrated; he was ready to take Joyce home, too, but I said no.  I wanted to go home with Faith.  I needed to heal physically and emotionally from the miscarriage,” she said, her eyes on the table.

So, they finished the process to adopt Faith, got on the plane, and came home.  It was December 1, 2012, and Faith was their first daughter.

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Dane and Meggan with Faith Hope Love!!!     (Image used courtesy of Meggan Love)

Just a month later, January 2013, Dane and Meggan found themselves cleaning out a room in their home they’d previously used as an office.  “Let’s just go ahead and say what we’re doing this for,” Dane challenged Meggan.  It was as if he were reading her mind.  “We’re turning this into a room for Joyce.”

“This is for a Joyce,” Meggan agreed without hesitation.  By this point, they’d prayed about another adoption.  They’d spoken with wise, godly friends.  And they knew it was time to move forward to bring Joyce home.

Two weeks later, they found out they were pregnant.

At the end of June the same year, the couple set off again for Uganda.

However, this trip was much different.  From the moment they got out of their car at the airport, everything went wrong:

  • The departure time for the first leg of their flight, Charlotte to Chicago, was bumped up, and they only have 30 minutes to get to the terminal.
  • During the flight, the pilot came over the intercom and told them they were nearly out of fuel and would be diverted to Detroit to refuel.
  • When they finally got into Chicago air space, they had to circle from 30 minutes before they could land.
  • They missed their connecting flight.
  • During the extended layover in Chicago, they got into a cab with an Egyptian driver.  They told him their story as they drove around.  “I hope you don’t end up with a layover in Egypt since with the revolt going on,” he warned.
  • Their new flight plan took them to Egypt.  During the layover, airport staff asked if they’d like to secure temporary visas so they could sight-see.  “I would have loved to see some pyramids,” Meggan admitted, “but we told them no thanks.”
  • They eventually got to Uganda, but their checked luggage didn’t.  They were without it for 2 weeks.  (Remember, Meggan was pregnant…she had packed lots of snacks in her checked luggage).
  • Once they got to the HOPE Center, they learned that their first court date had been pushed back a week.  No one had told them.

Things didn’t improve once the process finally got started.  Nothing went as planned.  Meetings didn’t happen when they were scheduled.  Paperwork was not ready on time.  There was one misstep, rescheduled meeting, and late form after another.

“I finally gave up,” Meggan threw her hands up in the air, a look of defeat on her face as she remembered the circumvention they endured.  “I told God, ‘This isn’t going according to my plan!  All my organization and planning is out the window.  I.Am.Done’!”

Then, Dane had to go home.

He’d been there 3 weeks and used all the vacation he had.

“I was there another 4 and a half weeks by myself,” Meggan told me.  “I was also in my third trimester of pregnancy.  In Uganda by myself.  Trying to finish everything and get Joyce and go home.”

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Meggan and Joyce in Uganda (Image used courtesy of Meggan Love)

Trying to complete the adoption process was…in a word, arduous.  At what was to be the last meeting – the exit interview with the U.S. Embassy – Meggan was questioned by the consulate.  She was completely honest – even about the misinformation uncovered in Joyce’s file.

When it came time for Joyce’s parents to go before the Embassy consulate, they were not truthful.  Their story contradicted Meggan’s.  Somehow, they thought they were being helpful.

In the end, the adoption was denied since the information on both sides was incongruent.

“They told me that Joyce wasn’t going to be leaving with me. They denied her visa.” Meggan said somberly.  Her shoulder slumped.  She was there again, standing in that room with the consulate.

“I ugly-cried,” she looked straight at me, her eyes glistening.  “In front of everybody in the Embassy.  I was 7 months pregnant.  I was worried about the baby because my emotions were all over the place.  I was by myself.  The trip had been hectic to begin with, and then they denied Joyce’s visa!  I left that place bawling my eyes out.  I asked God what in the world was going on!  ‘I’m doing what you want and you’re still making me wait!’ I told Him.  I was totally distraught,” she declared.

“I had to leave Joyce,” Meggan’s face was flat.  “I tried to tell her that we’d come back for her, but she didn’t understand.”

It was late in the summer of 2013 as Meggan got back on a plane and came home.  This time, she had a baby bump but no daughter.

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Photo Credits: Pinterest

Meggan’s story concludes next week.  God’s still working, so please join us again next week.

 

Portrait of a Servant Girl – Meggan’s Story – Part 1

Author’s Note: All my sisters in Christ are Servant Girls, and we’ve all been given God’s stories to tell. I’m grateful to be able to write to you over the next couple of weeks about Meggan and her story.  We met over breakfast and talked about 2 1/2 hours about how she met Jesus, how He changed her when she gave Him her heart, and how He is working in her family right now.  It is my pleasure to introduce you to Meggan Love…

Where is God in the mundane?  Where is He in tragedy?  Where is He when you can’t decide whether to go down this road or that one?  Simply put, He’s right where He’s always been – going before you, making a way for you.  All you really have to do is whatever He says.

God began speaking to Meggan through her pastor at the church she attended with her parents when she was 6 years old.  At the end of the sermon, the pastor asked for people to raise their hands if they wanted to accept Jesus into their hearts.  For 6 months he asked, and for 6 months, Meggan raised her hand.  Every time, her parents told her to put down her hand.  They didn’t think she realized what the pastor was asking.

Finally, Meggan’s mom and dad asked if she really wanted to do what the preacher had asked, and she told them yes!  He’d asked if she wanted Jesus in her heart, and she did!  Appeased, her parents took her to talk with their pastor.  Afterwards, 6 year old Meggan asked Jesus to come into her life, and she was baptized.

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Meggan, age 6, about the time she received God’s salvation and was baptized.  Image used courtesy of Meggan Love.

“It was childlike faith,” she told me, her tone matter-of-fact.  “Obviously, I didn’t understand all the theology and eschatology, and all of that other stuff,” she smiled, gesturing in circles over her heard.  “But, I knew He died for me, and He rose for me, and I wanted to go to heaven and be with Him.”

What drew Meggan to God, even as a 6 year old, was the overwhelming feeling of love.  “He loved me enough to die for me,” Meggan emphasized.  “I was very young, but I understood that important truth and that made me want to live for Him and serve Him.”

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Photo Credit: Pinterest

Even though Meggan was a small child when she made this decision, she distinctly remembers the change that occurred in her once she received the Holy Spirit.  “Before I had the Holy Spirit, I was very selfish,” she confessed.  “It was all about me, me, me!  But once I gave my heart to Christ, I began experiencing strong conviction from the Holy Spirit.  I’ve never been afraid to speak my mind,” she told me with a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth, “but having the Holy Spirit gave me confidence to speak up for Christ.  For example, “she said, sitting up straighter at the table, “when I was in the 4th grade, I had a classmate who was Muslim.  One day, he told me that he hated Jesus.  ‘I don’t know why,’ I said back to him, ‘He loves you’!”

The Holy Spirit convicted Meggan to spend time studying the Bible, being alone with God and praying to Him.  Peer pressure from friends was still a real struggle for her as was her desire to be selfish.  She still made poor choices from time to time, as anyone would, but she was almost immediately convicted.

“I remember occasions where I would look at my friends and tell them that what we were considering doing was sin.  That was because of the strength and power of the Holy Spirit living in me.”

In middle school, Meggan felt the tug on her heart to begin praying for her future husband!  (This was actually something her parents had prayed for both Meggan and her brother years before.  Her parents prayed that both their children would meet their spouses while they were young).

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Photo Credit: Pinterest

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I had 3 requirements,” Meggan said.

“For what your husband would be like?” I clarified.

“Yes,” she nodded once.  “I asked God to send me a husband who was Southern, Christian, and who could make me laugh,” she counted on her fingers as she listed.  “I prayed for them in that order, too!”  She pointed out, her eyes wide.  “Not really sure why it was so important for him to be Southern, but that was always first on my list.”

“Does Dane make you laugh?”  I asked, a knowing smile passing between us.  (We were in Life Group at FBCIT with Meggan and Dane for about 5 years).

Meggan rolled her eyes but blushed a little.  “Oh yeah!  He does!”  She said emphatically.  “Every day!  He makes me crazy, but he definitely makes me laugh.”

Meggan and Dane’s relationship began in the 8th grade; they were 13.  “I knew early on that he’d be my husband,” she confided.  “But knowing that at such a young age, and loving him the way I already did scared me!  So, I broke up with him the summer before 9th grade,” she said firmly.  “I just wasn’t ready for all that.  But,” she continued with a quick shrug of her shoulders, “we got back together in the middle of 10th grade and have been together since.”

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Dane and Meggan before the 10th grade winter formal – 2002.  They had just begun dating again.  Image used courtesy of Meggan Love.

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Dane and Meggan at their high school graduation – 2004.  Image used courtesy of Meggan Love.

Before they were married, Meggan was able to help lead Dane to Christ.  Dane had been baptized, but he confessed to Meggan one day that altar calls made him uncomfortable.  Meggan explained to him that the feeling of discomfort was God’s conviction.  He wanted to draw Dane into a closer relationship.  So, Dane and Meggan prayed together, and Dane asked God to be his Savior.

“Did Dane change after that?” I asked Meggan.

“Definitely,” she responded.  “I saw him become much more passionate about Christ, for getting to know the Lord and learning about our faith.  It actually spurred me into a deeper relationship, too.”

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Wedding day – 2007.  Image used courtesy of Meggan Love

Dane and Meggan were married in 2007.  God has continued to work in their lives both individually and as a couple.  For Meggan, that means God is still working to change her heart in the area of expectations of others.  She admits that nothing is ever good enough for her.

“It’s always been part of my sin nature,” she revealed.  “I remember it when I was little.  I’d get presents for my birthday but wonder why I didn’t get more or why this one thing I wanted was left out.

As an adult, specifically as a mother, this presents itself in another way.  “I’ll come home from work or running errands when Dane has been at home with the girls, and as soon as I hit the door, I start listing everything that’s wrong…breakfast dishes are still on the table, the kitchen is a mess, the clean clothes haven’t been put into the dryer…” she trailed off, shaking her head.  “It isn’t enough that he fed them and kept them alive while I was gone!  I never point out the things he has done; I just focus on what I think is lacking.  That thing from when I was little, it’s still there.  It’s part of my sin nature.  It’s getting better though.  I feel conviction to see the positives and ignore the negatives, or I am convicted to take a step back before it goes too far and apologize to the person and repent to God.  It’s just a work in progress.  The older I get, the more I realize that our faith grows as we grow.  That’s how it’s supposed to be.  We go through seasons.  It’s a race to run all the way to the finish, and it’s a cross-country run rather than a sprint.  We just have to continue to let Him change our hearts.”

Currently, Meggan’s in the motherhood season of her life; she is mommy to 4 precious little girls: Joyce, Faith, Renzori, and Delaney.  This is the race she is running today.

When she sat down across the table from me, before we began our interview for this post, she sighed, “I don’t know, Heather…Servant Girl?  I just don’t feel like I am one.  I’m just mommy right now.  I’m just sitting around nursing my baby.”  She gestured over to then 4-month-old Delaney, snoozing quietly in her carrier.

But, I know that God has given everyone a story, and I already knew a little about Meggan’s.  I knew you needed to read it so you could see God as He has revealed Himself to Meggan.

She can tell you that God will be with you at your lowest point.  There may be a fleeting thought that He’s deserted you, but then you have those quiet moments, like when it’s 3 in the morning and you’re up changing diapers and nursing your newborn, and life “circles back” as Meggan put it, and you see what He was doing in the midst of your pain and suffering.

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Photo Credit: Pinterest

Now that she’s had time to look back, Meggan can see that God was with her even in that specific moment, about 5 years ago, when He clearly told her something to do, and she said no.  “I literally stomped my foot, and said no!”  She told me, shaking her head at her own audacity.

But God was still with her.

What did God ask of Meggan that caused such a defiant response?  Join me back here next week for Part 2 of Meggan’s story, and I’ll tell you.

 

Starr Says Stay in Your Lane {A Blog Recommendation}

You be you, friend.

And let them be them.”

I was reading the Thirsty Thursday installment of the blog, The Daily Starr, by Starr Haigler, and it was as if she were speaking directly to me here…

“You be you…”

In her blog, Starr has a prescribed theme for each day (#makeovermonday, #trashouttuesday, etc).  #thirstythursday posts focus on God and His Word and His promise to give us living water so we don’t have to thirst ever again.  In this particular entry, she implored readers to walk the path God had set for them.  Her point was that God has given each of us spiritual gifts (she used 1 Peter 4:10-11 to support this), and we are to use them to serve Him, to bring Him glory.

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Photo Credit: Pinterest

Watch out – she reminds us – Satan will employ one of his age-old tricks to get your attention off your gifts and hinder your ability to do what God has for you to do: comparison.  Starr points out,  “My gift is not your gift. And if I focus too much on your gift, I’ll miss what God has ahead for me in this journey. If I want everything I do to bring glory to God – I need to be me and use the gifts God has blessed me with.”

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Photo Credit: Pinterest

This post was particularly inspiring for me because I am someone who tends to listen to that voice telling me that I’m too shy or what I have to say isn’t very interesting or my past will hinder me from helping people see God.

What Starr had to say here reminded me that God has, in fact, given me gifts.  God has given me a path to follow.  My path won’t look like anyone else’s because it’s mine.  It might be narrow.  It might be hard to see what is ahead or where exactly I’m going, but it is the one ordained for me.  I need to stay focused on my gifts and my path.

It inspired me to think about what it is God has for me to do during this time He has given me here.

{Plus, the images of the snow in the trees and on the road were beautiful as were the others she included in this post!}

Check out this post, You don’t have to be like everyone else, and note the simple yet poignant prayer at the end.

One read and I’ll bet you’ll want to subscribe to receive your daily dose of encouragement and inspiration.  I certainly have.

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Photo Credit: The Daily Starr

A Mountaintop Experience: Reflections from a Weekend at The Cove

Sit a spell in a rocking chair on the porch at the Training Center and watch the fog creep in until it completely covers all the blue-gray mountains in the distance.

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The “Back Porch” at the Training Center

Amble through the halls and take in the multitude of gifts given to Billy and Ruth Graham over the years as they traveled the world: the pin from Boris Yeltsin, the Russian Nesting Dolls from the Russian Delegation, or the Wooden Pestle from Romania, to list just a few.

If nature is your pleasure, choose a sturdy walking stick and follow the trail as it climbs and twists through the woods and past the creek up to the chapel. Those who are more adventurous can climb 3 miles up to the overlook.

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Porter’s Creek on the hiking trail

 

This past weekend, I passed a sweet time meeting with the Lord during a women’s retreat at The Cove in Asheville. Be Still Mama Women’s Ministry from FBCIT hosted the event and put together a dynamic line-up of godly women to encourage us to “Choose Joy” based on John 15:1-11.

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Photo Credit: Pinterest

Based on my observation, I heartily recommend that you go on a retreat the next time you have the opportunity. And, if that opportunity happens to take you to The Cove, I encourage you all the more.

To begin with, the venue is absolutely breathtaking, both the surrounding, natural environment as well as the inns, Training Center, and chapel themselves. Although we were there in the middle of winter, the weather was pleasant enough to venture outdoors, walk a few trails, and take in the beautiful mountain scenery. All around you’ll see glossy, smooth magnolia and hearty cedar. It was overcast while we were there, but the heavy clouds hanging low on the mountains and even lower in the trees epitomize the mountains to me.

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Imagine what the Graham home might have looked like when Ruth often stood at the door and kissed goodbye her evangelist husband as he went off yet again to carry the gospel to the ends of the earth. Do you see a cozy fire, creaking rocking chairs, soft rugs covering wooden floors, and shelves and shelves of books? That’s what I see, and I imagine that was the inspiration behind the homey, mountain decor that permeates the inns, the Training Center, and the chapel at The Cove.

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Suite sitting room in Shepherd’s Inn

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We were all crazy about this grand fireplace in the lobby of the Training Center.  There were more pictures taken of this than just about anything else!

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Chatlos Chapel

If the interior says, “Relax. Pull up your chair and sit by the fire,” the exterior says, “Take notice. Stand tall! You’re nestled into mountain country.” Each building was built with a mix of natural stone and dark, handsome wooden beams.

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Shepherd’s Inn

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Shepherd’s Inn

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Chatlos Chapel

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Chatlos Chapel

And, oh the windows! They were everywhere! Some rooms, such as the dining room, had floor to ceiling windows, and lobby of the Shepherd’s Inn, where we stayed, was two-story, featuring windows from the floor to ceiling! The word ‘breathtaking’ just doesn’t even seem adequate to describe what you experience with your eyes.

 

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Shepherd’s Inn Lobby

You don’t just experience The Cove with your eyes though! Your nose and mouth are tantalized as well – at least 3 times a day – at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Truthfully, I hadn’t considered the food as something to look forward to on this trip. But, let me tell you, I was completely and utterly blown away by the amount and quality of food as well as the selections themselves. Breakfast was a buffet of eggs, meats, pastries, fresh fruits, yogurts…I could go on, but breakfast is my favorite meal, and now I’m hungry again. Lunch and dinner included choices such as filet Mignon, grilled shrimp, baked Parmesan chicken, salmon, pork ribs, steamed vegetables, mashed potatoes, salad, rolls, cornbread…you get the picture, right?! I’m not saying you should go to The Cove just for the food, but I’m saying that you won’t be disappointed by it. You’ll probably leave a few pounds heavier than when you came. (I didn’t even mentioned dessert!)

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Dining Room in Training Center

The staff was kind and helpful as well. Their demeanor added to the overall hospitable air of the place. Everywhere you were greeted with their smiling faces welcoming you in the door, asking if you needed assistance with anything, or reminding you to help yourself to the coffee, soft drink, or water stations located around the facilities. The folks waiting the tables in the dining room were especially jolly as they begged us over and over to go back for seconds and thirds. “If you leave hungry, it’s your own fault,” one lady kidded us as she refilled our water pitcher.

Now, I would be remiss if I did not also share with you what you are likely to experience on a spiritual level while there. I most certainly encountered the Holy Spirit’s presence; it was there nearly every moment. This was due in part to the group of women there with me, the caliber of speakers and the message they prayed over for weeks and weeks, the worship leader and the music she chose, and the overall design of the retreat itself by the leader of our women’s ministry.

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Photo Credit: Pinterest

However, added to that was the idea that this facility itself, everything at The Cove, in fact, was designed with the purpose of bringing people to a place where they can relax, refresh, and experience the Lord. You just…feel His presence. You look out over the mountains, and you encounter majesty and awe knowing that He created those mountains and those trees and those clouds, and He knew you’d be standing there in that moment, feeling so small but not alone. You look at those friendly faces assisting you, and you realize that He made those people, and He gave them attitudes of servitude so they could be His hands and feet. Even the configuration of the furnishings – a grouping of chairs here and there by a fireplace, or a couch nestled in the corner by a bookcase – invited you to breathe in fellowship and experience the Lord’s calming presence.

It’s just a majestic place. The Lord is there! I urge you to go should the opportunity arise. You will be so grateful that you did.

Have you ever been on a retreat? Was it for work, recreation, church, etc? Where did you go? What was your experience there?