A Call to Prayer

May 31, 2020 / hhooks / Leave a comment

Tomorrow morning at 8am Eastern Time join me in praying for America.

I mean at 8am, stop what you are doing and get on your face.

Pray for the family and friends of George Floyd.

Pray for Derek Chauvin, his family and his friends.

Pray for the other officers who were present when Mr. Floyd was murdered – their family and friends

Pray for the police officers and their families across the nation

Pray for the government officials local and national

Pray for the protestors

Pray for the rioters

Pray for the business owners who have lost or damaged business.

Pray for our children and our future.

Pray for change.

Pray for a heart like God’s. Pray to love like He loves.

I’m not asking you to sign up for anything. I am not asking you to prove that you did it. You know we need to do it just as well as I do. I’m not going to go Live because I’ll be on my face crying out to God.

Will you join me in pray for our country? Tomorrow morning at 8am. Set a reminder on your phone.

When I Sin and Blame it on My Kids

May 28, 2020May 29, 2020 / hhooks / 2 Comments

Ethan’s upstairs doing school work on the desktop. Calling me because he needs help. Emery’s downstairs doing school work on the laptop. Calling me because she needs help. I’m in the dining room reading scripture for this week’s Bible study lesson.

I advise them to work as far as they can on their own or try to figure it out and keep going. I promise I’ll help in a little while.

But I keep working. I want to get done with this lesson. I want to move on to the next thing on my check list – laundry, dinner prep, vacuuming…heck, I may even get to take a shower today!

But they keep calling me. I go upstairs to help Ethan. I go back downstairs to help Emery.

Repeat all day, 4 days a week since their school began assigning new virtual learning after spring break.

The tipping point comes.

{Wasn’t it inevitable?}

I lose my temper. I raise my voice. I go on a rant. My heartbeat accelerates. I feel my face getting hot. I knit my brow together and glare at whoever is unlucky enough to be closest to me at the time…

Then, God reminds me that my quiet time with Him is supposed to be earlier in the day…before the kids get up and start their day and need me to be their mommy.

We’ve already settled this, He whispers.

Image Credit: https://www.bible.com/bible/72/1ki.19.12.hcsb

And I know He’s right. We settled this. I submitted to His will: Give God my time early in the morning, and the daytime when my family is at home belongs to them.

But, I’ve gotten slack. I’ve been lazy. I wanted to sleep in. I can do my Bible study while they’re doing school work, I rationalized. I’ll have free time when they have screen time.

Then, God called me out, and I realized – How dare I get angry with my children for needing and wanting my attention when I’m trying to do my Bible study that I should have gotten up early and done while the house was calm and quiet and no one needed me.

I’m actually being selfish when I ignore my children under the guise of studying the Bible. Should I even go so far as to say I’m being sinful?

Daytime, when they are awake and home with me, is their time. They deserve my attention and affection during that time. After all, I wanted to be a mom. Taking on this responsibility was my choice. Giving them attention and affection when they need it is part of that responsibility.

Quiet time, when I fill up with the fullness of God, is in the early morning. Darkness outside. Silent house. Just me at the table with my Bible and my journal.

So, where’s the balance? After all, I’m always preaching about how important it is to find balance.

Honestly, they don’t need or deserve every bit of my undivided attention or direction. That wouldn’t be good parenting either.

They need their own time – to learn to occupy themselves, to be bored and learn what to do about it…

And of course there’s housework for…

My point?

When I neglect my quiet time with Jesus, when I refuse the time he has already appointed for me and convicted me of…

AND I try to force it into the time and space where I am supposed to be mommy…

I am at fault.

This is my sin, not my children’s.

On a practical note, this will look different for you depending on your situation:

Moms who work full time outside the home
Moms of infants
Moms who work full time at home
Moms of older kids or teenagers
Single moms
Moms who are caregivers (or an elderly parent or sick partner or child, etc)
Moms who stay at home with small children
Moms who home-school

The list of different situations you can find yourself in as a mom are infinite. But, I don’t think this changes the issue. It is our responsibility to give them the attention and affection they are supposed to have from us as their mothers.

Image Credit: http://lemonadelaughter.blogspot.com/2012/01/what-are-you-craving.html

Why We Have to Suffer

May 21, 2020May 22, 2020 / hhooks / Leave a comment

It’s 1 in the afternoon. My husband won’t be home for at least 3 more hours. And the baby won’t.stop.crying.

He’s had a nap. Been fed and had a diaper change.

I’ve held him. Bounced him. Sung to him. Put him down. Picked him up again. Everything I can think of.

But he won’t.stop.crying.

I remember a DVD the OBGYN gave me at a prenatal visit. Something about purple crying. That sometimes babies cry for no good reason. The DVD said if you’ve done everything you know to do, and the baby is still crying, put the baby down in a safe place and walk away for a little while.

So, I lay him in his crib and go outside. I slowly circle the outside of the house a few times to try and clear my head.

Each time I walk by his window, I hear him. Still crying.

That day is tattooed in my memory, but that baby is now a rising 6^th grader about to start middle school.

Sleeping like a baby – January 2009

When I think of that day, I laugh. Usually. But it wasn’t humorous then.

What I didn’t understand as a new mama is that crying is the only way a baby is able to communicate. To tell us there’s something wrong.

Why is that the only way, though?

And do they have to be so loud? How is it that they change so quickly from content, cooing angels with their feet in their hands to irate, screaming banshees with their fists in tight balls?

Is there no other way to signal that they’re hungry or need a diaper change? Surely God, in His wisdom, would have devised another way if there were one. But, He didn’t. So, there must not have been.

I mean, would I have kept the baby on a regular feeding schedule if he simply lay there sleeping peacefully or gazing contently at the ceiling fan? Sure, I’d probably stare at him a lot, marveling at how cute he was. But would it occur to me to feed him if he wasn’t causing a scene? Possibly not.

The baby must do something to get someone’s attention. To snap a caregiver out of her self-absorbed-ness. To encourage a parent to…well, parent.

Hear me out…

This scene with my son came to mind recently when I read commentary on 1 Samuel chapters 16 and 17 from the English Standard Version Study Bible. One sentence got my attention: “God trains David, through suffering, to lead his people”.

My immediate reaction: Wait? What? Why use suffering? Wouldn’t something else work?

To suffer is to undergo pain or distress. To sustain injury. It might involve anguish. Suffering is…negative!

How does suffering – which sounds negative – produce someone who will make a good king, parent, teacher, CEO, writer, leader…

Well, if I didn’t suffer, would I learn as much? Would I pay attention as closely? Would I even realize I was supposed to learn anything?

If David hadn’t suffered, would he have become a great king? Would he have been prepared to lead God’s people?

Maybe it is necessary to suffer because it drives us TO God. As David suffered, he wrote songs that we still use today to call out to God in our despair or to lift His name in praise. David’s words have become prayers for millions.

When I struggled as a stay-at-home mom with an infant I couldn’t figure out, I cried. A LOT. And in my suffering, I turned back to God. Whom I had been ignoring for nearly a decade.

Would I have done that if everything had been all cute baby giggles? It’s less likely. If everything were going well, I wouldn’t have seen a need for God. I would have thought, “I’m doing awesome at this mother stuff!” and gone about my business.

But people aren’t usually compelled to move or change if life is a bed of roses.

The opposite of “suffer” is calm, soothe, please, comfort, relieve…

When I read these words, I’m not inspired to move. Are you?

I have found that God uses suffering to move me. To prompt me. To inspire me. To change me. To point me back to Himself. To cause me to seek Him.

When I think of it this way, I’m not as bothered by the fact that I will suffer in this life. If that is the way God, in His sovereignty and providence, has designed life to be, then I will meet it head on and see what He teaches me.

*Crossway Books. (2011). Holy Bible: english standard version, study bible. Wheaton, IL.

How to Survive the New Normal

May 14, 2020December 3, 2020 / hhooks / 1 Comment

The New Normal. That’s what we’re calling what’s happening right now.

It started March 11, the last day of school in our district. It became “real” March 31, the first day the stay-at-home order was in effect in our state.

Everyone talks about the new normal. We know what it means: the way we’re living during the pandemic with churches, schools, libraries, restaurants, and parks closed. With people wearing masks and plastic gloves to the grocery store. With people having virtual visits with their doctors. With people working from home and having staff meetings on Zoom.

What’s your new normal look like?

For me, it’s been about finding balance. I can’t lean too far to the left or to the right or the boat will flip over. I gotta keep it in the center.

At our house, our attempts at finding balance during the new normal have looked like this:

1. We try to keep our lives and our schedule as close to what they used to be as possible.

2. We try to embrace the changes we’ve experienced – things being added to and taken from our lives.

You could try to keep your life and schedule as close to the same by…

waking up in the morning around the same time you used to; going to bed at night around the same time.
washing your face every morning and every afternoon; taking a shower every day.
eating like you normally eat; don’t go crazy with a lot of junk food and sweets.
having meals at normal times.
emphasizing more time playing outside, building with LEGO (my kids love LEGO), drawing, reading, or writing, and less time on screens or social media.

You could embrace new things and changes by…

taking a walk, riding bikes, playing a board or card game, or watching movies together everyday (hey, we have a lot more free time now, right?)
eating a picnic lunch outside.
wearing pajamas all day.
tackling that home improvement project you’ve been putting off.

Like many people, I’ve chosen to keep some parts of my old, daily routine the same in the new normal even though I don’t have to do so. I change out of my pajamas and wash my face in the morning and at night. Continuing to do these things makes me feel better.

I have a friend who puts on her make-up every day although she isn’t leaving the house for work anymore.

Some people still drive to Starbucks for their morning coffee even though they no longer have a commute to work.

A few friends still wake up at their regular time for Bible study or their morning job even though they could do it later in the day since they’re currently at home with their children.

Honestly, the new normal isn’t like the life we were used to. Lots of plans have changed. We can’t do a lot of things we used to be able to do. But I think we can figure our how to keep our wits about us and push through until this thing is over. And I have faith that it will be over.

Image Credit: PhDmind Blog

What To Do When God Changes Your Plans

May 4, 2020May 1, 2020 / hhooks / 3 Comments

I wiped the slate clean on April.

Alright, it was a dry-erase board rather than a slate, but I wiped off what little plans we had in April and rewrote the calendar for May.

Our April calendar was just about blank anyway. Was yours?

April had some dates marked, but they were mostly Zoom meetings the kids or I had scheduled for school.

Our March calendar was another story though. The month of March was completely planned out before the world shut down.

When I wiped the March calendar clean to replace it with April, I wiped away events that never happened.

Events were planned alright…

A date night for my birthday.

A weekend beach trip.

Class pictures with my students.

My kids’ first school dance.

Field trips to the zoo and Carowinds.

But when those days in March came and went, I drew black slashes through those boxes to cross them off.

I cross off each day on my calendar, but I’ve never crossed off so many dates with scheduled events that didn’t happen.

And never will.

All those plans we made! All that effort spent!

I hear God saying, “You can make your plans, but I am in control.”

Proverbs19_21_Many are the plans in a person's heart.jpg

Image Credit: By The Spirit Band

This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t make plans for our lives.

It means that any plans we make are under God’s sovereign control. If He purposes to change the plans we’ve made, we have to go with it.

It may take prayer and time to get our hearts to a place of acceptance, and that’s ok. Prayer is time spent with our Father, the one in control, and that is never wasted time or effort.