Ethan’s upstairs doing school work on the desktop. Calling me because he needs help. Emery’s downstairs doing school work on the laptop. Calling me because she needs help. I’m in the dining room reading scripture for this week’s Bible study lesson.

I advise them to work as far as they can on their own or try to figure it out and keep going.  I promise I’ll help in a little while.  

But I keep working.  I want to get done with this lesson.  I want to move on to the next thing on my check list – laundry, dinner prep, vacuuming…heck, I may even get to take a shower today!  

But they keep calling me.  I go upstairs to help Ethan.  I go back downstairs to help Emery.

Repeat all day, 4 days a week since their school began assigning new virtual learning after spring break.  

The tipping point comes.  

{Wasn’t it inevitable?}  

I lose my temper.  I raise my voice.  I go on a rant.  My heartbeat accelerates.  I feel my face getting hot.  I knit my brow together and glare at whoever is unlucky enough to be closest to me at the time…

Then, God reminds me that my quiet time with Him is supposed to be earlier in the day…before the kids get up and start their day and need me to be their mommy.  

We’ve already settled this, He whispers.  

And I know He’s right.  We settled this.  I submitted to His will: Give God my time early in the morning, and the daytime when my family is at home belongs to them.

But, I’ve gotten slack.  I’ve been lazy.  I wanted to sleep in.  I can do my Bible study while they’re doing school work, I rationalized.  I’ll have free time when they have screen time.

Then, God called me out, and I realized – How dare I get angry with my children for needing and wanting my attention when I’m trying to do my Bible study that I should have gotten up early and done while the house was calm and quiet and no one needed me.

I’m actually being selfish when I ignore my children under the guise of studying the Bible.  Should I even go so far as to say I’m being sinful?

Daytime, when they are awake and home with me, is their time.  They deserve my attention and affection during that time.  After all, I wanted to be a mom.  Taking on this responsibility was my choice.  Giving them attention and affection when they need it is part of that responsibility.

Quiet time, when I fill up with the fullness of God, is in the early morning.  Darkness outside.  Silent house.  Just me at the table with my Bible and my journal.

So, where’s the balance? After all, I’m always preaching about how important it is to find balance.

Honestly, they don’t need or deserve every bit of my undivided attention or direction.  That wouldn’t be good parenting either.

They need their own time – to learn to occupy themselves, to be bored and learn what to do about it…

And of course there’s housework for…

My point?

When I neglect my quiet time with Jesus, when I refuse the time he has already appointed for me and convicted me of…

AND I try to force it into the time and space where I am supposed to be mommy…

I am at fault.

This is my sin, not my children’s.

On a practical note, this will look different for you depending on your situation:

• Moms who work full time outside the home
• Moms of infants
• Moms who work full time at home
• Moms of older kids or teenagers
• Single moms
• Moms who are caregivers (or an elderly parent or sick partner or child, etc)
• Moms who stay at home with small children
• Moms who home-school

The list of different situations you can find yourself in as a mom are infinite.  But, I don’t think this changes the issue.  It is our responsibility to give them the attention and affection they are supposed to have from us as their mothers.