Jesus

Many people can tell you exactly where they were when they got saved. They know exactly what was going on and can even tell you a specific date. I can’t. I know I was in the 6th grade, about 12 years old. I know some specific things that led up to me making the decision. But, I don’t know exactly where I was or what was going on or what date it was when I asked Jesus for His gift of salvation. I just know I did it.

What I do remember is that it was very important to me that my friends to be saved, too. I didn’t want any of my friends to be left here after the rapture to endure the things I’d seen portrayed in the movie I saw at my youth lock-in. I recall being very excited and telling them all that they needed to be saved. However, I didn’t personally lead anyone to Christ, and I don’t recall anyone saying they got saved as a result of my efforts, whatever they were.

I also don’t recall any real change in myself. I still did everything I’d done before: I went to church and youth meetings and sang in the choir, and all the other good churchy stuff, but there was nothing different about me as far as I can remember. I had asked God to save me. I told Him I believed in Him…but, at that time in my life, I think it was mainly because I didn’t want to go to hell; it wasn’t because I wanted to glorify Him with my life. You could say that I gave Him my mind but kept my heart clutched tightly in my fist.

Maybe that doesn’t sound like a bad thing to you, and evidently it was acceptable to me at the time. I was saved. I wasn’t going to hell when I died. Eternity, for me, was taken care of. All was well. But, you’d be wrong to find security in this, and so was I.

What I have discovered since then, through this journey I have been on with Jesus, is that it isn’t enough to simply acknowledge that there is a Creator God or that there is a real man named Jesus. Even Islam accepts that Jesus lived; to Muslims, Jesus was a Jewish prophet. Simply having intellectual knowledge of the fact that God and Jesus exist will not save a person.

In James 2:19, Jesus’ own brother reminds us that even the demons believe God exists. They’re even afraid of Him!

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But the demons haven’t acknowledged God as sovereign over them. They do not love their neighbors, as Jesus instructed disciples in the gospels, as an outward sign that they belong to Him. Belief in God isn’t enough to save them.

The book of Daniel discusses a succession of kings who saw God’s greatness displayed and even verbally acknowledged His power but may or may not have actually given their hearts and lives to Him. (It should be noted that some commentaries including those in Eerdmans Commentary on the Bible accept that Nebuchadnezzar and Darius may have converted to a monotheistic belief in God based on their experiences with Him. However, neither king made a confession of faith that was recorded in scripture).

In Daniel chapter 3, Nebuchadnezzar witnesses God save Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.

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After they came out of the fire, unburnt, not even smelling like smoke, the king says (verse 28), “Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who sent His angel and delivered His servants who put their trust in Him…” The king goes on in verse 29 to make a decree that “any people, nation, or tongue that speaks anything offensive against the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego shall be torn limb from limb and their houses reduced to rubbish heaps, inasmuch as there is no other god who is able to deliver in this way.” That is a quite a lot of reverence coming from the king of the Babylonian empire. However, notice that King Nebuchadnezzar refers to Him as someone else’s God.

Then, in Daniel 4:37, the king says, “I praise, exalt, and honor the King of Heaven…” But does he actually give God his heart and life? It doesn’t say for sure.

Daniel Chapter 6 introduces King Darius of the Medes who makes similar statements after Daniel survives a night in the lion’s den. Darius decrees that everyone should tremble before God. Because of the lion’s den, Darius learns to respect God, but does he ever come to faith in Him? I’m unsure based on what I’ve read. What I do know, is that faith is the step we must take after we acknowledge who God is.

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These instances are both sad and telling. I imagine there are many people who are in this same predicament. They have seen God work, maybe even believe He is real but won’t surrender to His sovereignty over their lives. I was there. That was me, too! I was like the demons, Darius, and Nebuchadnezzar: I knew Him, but I didn’t live for Him. And my failure to take that next step is what led to more than 10 years of my life spent in spiritual darkness.

What is your understanding of the fate of King Nebuchadnezzar and King Darius based on your reading of the book of Daniel? Do you believe these men came to faith in our Lord and devoted their lives to Him, or did they merely add Him to the list of gods in which their culture already believed?

Do you remember how you met the Lord? Can you recall where you were, how old you were, the exact date? I would love for you to share you stories here.

Jesus has been a part of my life since the beginning – well, since before my life began if you want to go further than that. My dad was “born and raised” in church as was my mom. So, my younger sister and I couldn’t help but be, right? We grew up in the same church where my mom had gone her whole life. As children, we sang in the children’s choir, went to Vacation Bible School (VBS), participated in church fundraisers, and went to youth lock-ins and retreats. You name it, and we did it if it was church-related.

Children’s Choir at Olivet – mid 1980’s. My mom is playing the piano, and my sister and I are in the choir (she is front row, far left, and I am second row, far right).

Youth retreat – mid 1990’s. (I am standing on the bench, 5th from the left).

I never felt forced toward God though. It was just an expectation that my parents had that they made clear to my sister and me: If you live in this house, you will go to church. So, I went. I was christened as an infant. I read my Bible. I went to Sunday school. I invited my friends to VBS. I went through confirmation and joined the church. I took communion. I was an acolyte. But, there was never a time I thought any of that would get me into heaven. I knew what salvation was and that only salvation would get me into heaven.

Confirmation Sunday – early to mid 1990’s (the day we joined the church after going through Confirmation classes to learn about the Methodist denomination). I am the second from the left.

VBS Final Presentation – mid 1990’s. (I am second from the right).

As some point, I told my piano teacher that I understood that I could die at any time. I told her that I knew I wasn’t going to live forever; I wasn’t invincible just because I was young. I must have been 10 or 11. She told me that since I was mature enough to accept that fact, I was ready to be saved.

Now, I have to tell you, I have no idea why I was compelled to tell her this! She wasn’t someone I was particularly close to or with whom I have a spiritual connection. I guess my preteen self just had this on my mind at the time and she was the one who I felt I could tell. Who knows! Whatever the reason for the conversation, it has stuck with me as something that was part of what led me to accept Christ as my Savior.

Then, when I was about 12, I was at a lock-in at my church. We stayed up all night and watched a series of movies about Jesus’ second coming when He will rapture the living Christians to heaven and about the tribulation and what will happen to people who become Christians during that time. (This wasn’t the Left Behind movie series; it was earlier than that).

What I remember most is the depiction of the tribulation and what life would be like for people who became Christians after the rapture. In particular was a scene where Christians were being beheaded because they wouldn’t renounce their belief in Jesus Christ. The guillotine and the actual beheadings weren’t shown, but what was happening was clearly discussed so I knew what was going on. The scene played out in a dungeon or cell where the Christians were being held. Someone was coming to get them, one by one, to take them out to the guillotine. They were given one last chance to renounce Christ. If they didn’t, they were beheaded on the spot. I remember this scene especially because there was a child in the dungeon. Just before he was taken, the adults told him that he’d be asked if he loved Jesus. He told them he would say that he did. Then, the adults told him that he’d be laid down on a stone. They told him to close his eyes and the next thing he knew, he would see the Lord. Then, the bad guys came and got him and gave him a red balloon. He goes out with them; you see the sky through the dungeon’s window, you hear the guillotine fall, then the red balloon rises past the window.

I can only imagine what must have been going on in that 12-year-old brain of mine as I watched that movie. My heart is racing and I am breathing a little faster just thinking of that scene.

At this point, I must be totally honest and tell you that I don’t want to tell you any more of my story. I am embarrassed and ashamed. When God started working on me to write a blog and share my testimony, I told Him no. Me! I said no to the King of the World! I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want people to know who I’d been and what I’d done.

God has seen our unloveliness - the deep brokenness and rebellion in our hearts - and instead of withdrawing, He pursues us to the very end. - Matt Chandler - Postcard available at https://www.zazzle.com/our_unloveliness_postcard-239551337646667759 #postcard #MattChandler #brokenness #unloveliness #rebellion #Jesus #Christ #withdrawing

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But, if God has ever convicted you to do something, you know He won’t let you go until you obey (remember Jonah?!). I kept telling Him no, and He kept pursuing me and encouraging me.

Earlier this year, a friend encouraged me to find out how other Christians were blogging. So, I started looking around and found several blog posts by Ann Voscamp. One series of posts in particular was very inspiring, so I prayed and journaled about what I was reading; I wrote my thoughts, my fears, and my prayers.

When you get tired of it all, God’s there

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Finally, God showed me that people have to see who I was so they can know who God is. This is why He gave me this life – my story. And this is what He intends for me to do – write it for you so you’ll know that God loves you. So, I’ll put aside my fear and obey. If you’ll keep reading, I’ll keep writing.

John 15:16-17 God chose you to write a letter to the world. That letter is love.

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Has God ever convicted you of something, and you said no? What did God want you to do? How did He pursue you? Did you finally obey?

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