I Won’t Go Back

September 4, 2019September 12, 2019 / hhooks / Leave a comment

“I won’t go back, I can’t go back

to the way it used to be

before your presence came and changed me.”

I sang these lyrics so many times with the choir at FBCIT! And every time I sang them – and even now – I am compelled to say, “Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!”

I do not want to go back to the way I was before… when I was in darkness. When I turned away from God. When I didn’t believe in Jesus anymore.

No. I want to stay at Jesus’ feet. In the light. In His joy.

I am thankful that Jesus heard me cry for Him. I am thankful that He redeemed me, that He bought me back out of my sin, and that His blood covers me now. And Forever. Amen!

{ This post was written as part of Five Minute Friday’s Link Up }

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Portrait of a Servant Girl – Carol’s Story – Part 4

July 19, 2018July 20, 2018 / hhooks / Leave a comment

This week’s post is the conclusion of Carol’s story in the Portrait of a Servant Girl series.

“As I was reeling from the separation and divorce from my husband, I was also caring for my father who was suffering from dementia,” Carol said, continuing with her story. I sat in the upstairs office at her home along with her and my sister Tiffany who has been friends with Carol for 18 years.

The harsh irony of this part of Carol’s story was palpable. I certainly didn’t expect her to tell me that she’d cared for the man who was controlling and abusive to her, her mother, and her siblings.

I must have looked surprised because she went on. “Yes, after my mother died, I inherited my father. He couldn’t live alone, so I brought him home with me. Within a couple of months, his dementia became so bad that we had to put him in a memory care center.”

Carol talked about visiting him daily, early in the morning, when he was at his best. “He had ‘Sundowners Syndrome,’”she explained, “so he was more lucid and pleasant earlier in the day and confused and agitated in the evenings.“

This was yet another painful experience that involved her father. But, as she talked about those months, she actually smiled. “At the time, taking care of my father was very painful, but now those memories bring laughter. Daddy was always trying to get to the coal mine,” she said. “Most days I found him sitting by the door waiting for his ride to work. I would try to redirect his thoughts and tell him it was his day off.”

She stopped and smiled to herself, and I realized she called him ‘daddy’. Throughout the interview, she referred to him as ‘father’ but, in reliving the memories of caring for him during his illness, and recalling the humorous times, she called him ‘daddy’.

“He was always looking for his keys,” she continued, shaking her head but smiling a little. “And one morning we worked and worked for a long time trying to jump-start his wheelchair!”

She paused. Her eyes were far away, but she wore a pleasant expression, one of nostalgia and happiness.

“That day was the best!” She laughed.

She looked at me, and her thoughts came back to the room. To the present day and our interview.

“I had the opportunity to read the Bible to him,” she said, satisfaction in her voice. “We talked about his relationship with Jesus.”

Carol shared that the week before he died, he saw angels.

“I had to write his eulogy,” she told me. “The morning after he died, I got up, and the words just flowed from my pen. I wrote about how he had to raise himself, never had a father, lived in a boarding house, and went to work in the coal mine when he was 13.” Her voice was clear and strong as she described this. Her face was calm and resolute. “When I was writing the eulogy, God showed me that my father had learned to survive by controlling at a very young age. I realized that he did the best he could with what he had.”

Carol’s voice was calm and peaceful. I was amazed to see her reliving all those painful memories – abuse from her father, cancer, divorce, caring for her father in his old age and sickness – with… was it joy? Joy because of how those trials deepened and strengthened her relationship with God? Joy because of the redemption she experienced both for herself and for other broken relationships in her life?

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“I thank God for the time I had with my father before he died,” she said after she had been quiet for a while. “ I thank Him for revealing all this to me and for helping me to love and to forgive my father. I have peace about that now.”

What a beautiful story of love, mercy, and grace! And isn’t this what God has done for us? We neglect Him. We abuse Him. We want Him to do things our way. Yet He patiently waits. He cares for us when we need Him. He redeems us when we come to our senses and allow Him to take His rightful place in our hearts. And, most amazing of all, He loves us the whole time.

Carol’s marriage ended in July 2001, and her father died in September 2001. For the next few years, she rarely went anywhere other than to church.

“Finally, my sister and my daughter told me I needed to get a life. They asked, ‘what do you want to do?’ Well, I always wanted to take Shag dance lessons,” she shrugged, “so I decided to do that.”

Carol signed up for lessons and showed up for class on the first day. She didn’t know one other soul in the room. However, a sweet lady saw her come in by herself and asked Carol to sit at her table.

“We talked a little while, and then she said, ‘I have a friend you just have to meet!’”

The lady told Carol about a man named Ed Jones, a widower who lost his wife to ALS.

“She talked about him for a while, and I said I would be willing to speak with him on the phone,” Carol explained. “He called me, and we spoke for a while, and I invited him to a party I was having at my house the next month, December 2003. He came to the party, and we had a nice time talking. He even stayed to help me clean up. Several busy months passed, and we connected again in February 2004 and were married that May.”

Carol and Ed Jones

When Carol married Ed, she inherited a wonderful family: his children and grandchildren including his youngest granddaughter who was a toddler at the time. Carol was thrilled to have a grandchild who lived close.

“I got to see her every week,” Carol beamed.

We spoke a little about Ed’s family, and then, as if on cue, we heard a deeper voice from downstairs say, “Do I need to pull out the guest bed up there?”

Tiffany laughed, “That is Mr. Ed’s way of saying it’s time to go!”

I looked at my phone. It was after 10 PM. We had been talking for over two hours!

We spoke for another minute or two about some of Carol’s work in the church: she’s been on a mission trip to Guyana to help build a youth center. She’s planned church fundraisers and other ministry events. She serves in the kitchen in the summer youth camp. She’s been a delegate for her church at the annual conference. She volunteers in the church office.

“I’ve also been on an outstanding trip to the Holy Land and participated in the Methodist Church’s Emmaus walk. I experienced an enormous spiritual growth on Emmaus,” she explained.

I knew it was very late and that Tiffany and I need to go, but I wanted to wrap up with one final question.

“What would you like people to know about Jesus?” I asked her.

She listed many important things about Him that she’s learned in her life.

“He will never leave you or forsake you,” she began. “You can always trust Him. He will give you peace, and joy, and be the best friend you could ever want. You have to pray and study the Bible to grow this relationship though. It doesn’t happen on its own.”

As we were standing to leave, she said, “I’m not saying there won’t be any more valleys in my life, but I have the assurance that God will go through them with me.”

I know that she recently experienced another valley this past spring when she had hip replacement surgery.

“I also know that the Bible tells us that when we are weakest, He is strongest. I have certainly found that His strength is enough for me.“

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Portrait of a Servant Girl – Carol’s Story – Part 3

July 13, 2018July 12, 2018 / hhooks / 1 Comment

This week’s post is a continuation of Carol’s story in the Portrait of a Servant Girl series.

“I didn’t question God about the cancer,” Carol repeated at another point during our interview. “But there was a time, years later, that I got very angry with Him. I remember being on my knees crying out to Him, ‘Is this what I get for being good? I’ve lived my life for you!’” She stopped for a moment and took a deep breath.

“I was so broken,” she continued. “I asked God, ‘Why would you do this to me? You just don’t know how broken and rejected I feel!’”

She stopped again, and I could see her shoulders relax. “After I said that to Him,” she went on, “there was a calm that came over me, and I got quiet. I felt Him put His hand on my shoulder, and He reminded me of what He went through. He said to me, ‘I understand. I was rejected, too.’”

There was another pause.

“After that, I still suffered from the rejection, but I did not complain,” she finished, matter-of-factly.

Thirty years prior to this encounter with God, in the mid 70’s, Carol had survived Stage IV colon cancer that metastasized to her lymph nodes. Now, her world was falling apart again. Her husband of 33 years no longer wanted to be married to her.

“This certainly wasn’t the life I planned,” Carol said earnestly. “My future looked hopeless. But then I had the encounter with God when He reminded me that He’d been kicked and spat on. That only one of His disciples stayed with Him until the end. From that day on, my healing began.”

Carol commented that the divorce was worse than cancer. When I asked her why, she explained that she had control of how she handled cancer, but she couldn’t control the rejection by her husband. That was something she never thought would happen.

“Like the cancer, the divorce brought me even closer to God.” She explained. “He used the circumstances to grow my faith in Him.”

Photo Credits: #GODisHOPE

If you’ve never experienced God’s provision during a storm in your life, this probably sounds insane – that you can grow closer to God during adversity. Of course, it can go the other way easily. You can get angry at God because He’s allowed the storm, and you pull away from Him.

Or, you could turn towards Him, even run to Him, and fall into His arms like Carol did.

“When I was going through my divorce and long afterwards as I continued to suffer, I received encouragement from reading the Bible. Many, many times God spoke to me through His Word and provided wisdom or the answer I needed in a particular situation,” Carol told me.

“Could you give me an example of something specific God said to you through His word that helped you in some way?” I asked.

She thought a moment, then said, “when someone hurts you, human nature is to hurt that person back. We think revenge will make us feel better. But, God reminded me many times that it wasn’t up to me to exact revenge. Romans 12:19 assures us that revenge is God’s task.”

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Lila Prints Etsy Shop

“What else did you learn?”

“Well, God taught me that a living prayer relationship with Him comes when we dare to level with Him. When we dare to be honest with Him about how we feel…like when I complained to Him that He didn’t understand my brokenness and rejection. When I got honest, He spoke clearly to me. I wasn’t making small talk anymore. I wasn’t pretending that my life was perfect anymore. I was on my knees with tears streaming down my face. He came in and comforted me. This moved my relationship with God to a much deeper level.”

God also used Carol and her story to reach other people. After the divorce, the Associate Pastor at Carol’s church in Wilmington, North Carolina approached her about sharing the adversity in her life with the church.

“She said, ‘People look at you and think you have no cares in the world,’ and she asked me to share my testimony as part of a worship service.” Carol paused, and a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

“I was never one to speak in front of others. I liked to organize and work behind the scenes,” she explained. “I really didn’t want to do what she asked me to do.”

“What made you change your mind?” I asked.

“I had so much faith and trust in the pastor who asked me. I knew the Holy Spirit worked in her, and I knew that whatever she asked was from God. I just couldn’t say no.”

Services at Carol’s church were televised, so after she spoke, the church began receiving requests for her to speak at other events. This led to years of travel around the southeastern United States sharing her story at women’s events.

“When you are sharing your story, and God allows you to see that other people receive help from it, you’re healed as well. This is another way God supported me during this time.”

Carol stopped for a moment then continued, “plus I was driving a lot, so there was lots of time to pray, and talk to God, and listen.”

Then, she shrugged and added, “What good would the bad things be if you didn’t share them with others so you could help them, too?”

Please join me next week for the conclusion of Carol’s story.

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Does It Say That in the Bible?

May 18, 2018May 18, 2018 / hhooks / Leave a comment

Have you ever heard someone say that the safest place in the world is the center of God’s will? Maybe you’ve said it yourself. I am sure I’ve offered it in assurance countless times – even whispering it to myself when I was afraid of something God was speaking to my heart.

Photo Credit: Pinterest See! Even Pinterest says so 😉

I recently read a blog post that has made me rethink this common statement. Stacey Pardoe’s post, “Why the Center of God’s Will Isn’t Always Safe” was in the first link-up I ever participated in. It was on the Raising Homemakers link up in April, and the title caught my attention. I clicked on it, read the post, and haven’t been able to get it off my mind.

Pardoe wrote, “In our culture, safety implies protection from danger. It implies a life in which risk is minimal and there is little chance of pain, suffering, or injury”.

Further, there tends to be a misconception that once you become a Christian, your life gets easy or simple or you don’t have any more worries.

This is far from the truth.

Many of you have stories involving pain, suffering, and loss. I’ve shared some of mine and begun to highlight those of some others, too.

So, Pardoe re-words the sentence by changing one, solitary word, and more firmly aligns the adage with Truth. When we understand this familiar saying the way she has re-framed it, we can really understand what it is like to walk with God and be in the center of His will.

No, it isn’t safe.

Oftentimes, it feels crazy or worse!

But when you’re doing His will, you’re always secure! Thank goodness!

Take a few moments and click over to Pardoe’s post, “Why the Center of God’s Will Isn’t Always Safe.”

Photo Credit: Pinterest

What do you think? Does this rewording seem more accurate based on your knowledge of the Bible and of the lives of Christ-followers?

Would you share examples of times when being in His will wasn’t safe, but you were certainly secure?

A #parentingfail – Part 4

April 20, 2018April 19, 2018 / hhooks / 3 Comments

This is the last in a series of 4 posts where I explore one of my parenting fails – my inability to control my temper when my kids push my buttons. If you’re just joining us, please go back and read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. The following list is a continuation of the tips I shared in Part 3 – helpful parenting tips I’ve learned so far.

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Have structure – So much research supports the fact that children need structure (and even want it) by way of boundaries, rules, routines, and schedules. You don’t have to be rigid, but it is good to set rules and expect that children behave accordingly.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Delegate/Accept Help – Children love to help, especially when they are little. They may make more of a mess than you’d like or not do something exactly the way you want, but bite your tongue, be patient, and accept the assistance when they want to give it. Also, accept help from others – your mother-in-law, best friend, neighbor, husband – especially when you have tiny babies. Give others the blessing of being able to assist you.

Emery helping me wash the dishes – she was about 3.

Plan Ahead – Things go so much better when I have done as much as I can to prep ahead of time. Have the kids make school lunches and pack book bags the night before. Lay out clothes the night before. Plan an entire week of dinners the weekend before. Many of the screaming fits I have thrown have been in the morning before school when someone couldn’t find his homework or her shoes because those things weren’t put where they should have been ahead of time.
Respect Your Children’s Father – I realize this is controversial, but it simply has to do with how God wired us as male and female. Our children need to see that their mom respects their dad. I imagine this can be difficult if there is a separation or divorce. However, some of the most amicable separations/divorces I have seen have been between people who are still nice and respectful toward each other.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

If It Isn’t Working, Change It – Some of this advice may not apply or may not work based on your family culture. These aren’t written in blood. The best you can do is try them and then tweak them to fit best with the dynamics of your family.
Get to Know Your Kids – (a little long. Bear with me…I promise I will make a relevant point). In Henry Blackaby’s Experiencing God study, the author says, “In every situation God demands that you depend on Him rather than a method. The key is not a method but a relationship with God.“ He goes on to say, “ A formula is not the way to recognize God‘s voice either… If there was a formula… You would not have to seek God with all your heart. You could mindlessly use the formula and neglect your relationship with God.“ I think this applies to our children, (or anyone else in our lives for that matter). If there was a formula for interacting well with our kids, we would not have to seek genuine relationships with them; we wouldn’t have to spend time getting to know them. We could just rely on the formula – those five tips from that parenting article or that list of advice from that veteran mom. This isn’t to say that these things aren’t valuable or some methods aren’t worth your time; however, we shouldn’t completely rely on them. Get to know who your children are by spending time with them. For example, I learned early on that Ethan was an outdoor kid. He likes watching TV, but he LOVES being outside – digging in the dirt and rocks, exploring the woods, hunting for lizards and frogs, running in the yard having a Nerf gun war… That led me to notice that he and I also interact better when we are outside. Coop us up in the house all day, and tempers are likely to flare. Put us in the backyard, and we can jump on the trampoline, pull weeds and smell gardenia blossoms all day! I know this because I have spent time with him – watching him, talking to him, noticing what he likes to do, and so on. Now if we could just spend all our time outside, we’d be best buds! But, this is honestly one of the hardest things for me. It takes energy that I would rather not expend. It takes listening to and talking about and doing some things that don’t interest me (hello, Nerf gun wars?!). It takes time away from the things I want to do. It takes creativity and imagination. But I have to do it, and you have to do it, as often as we possibly can. This is building the relationship, and this is what our children need most (and it will do us a world of good as well).

Photo Credit: Pinterest

My son isn’t a bad kid. More than likely, neither is your kid. Our kids are just being kids at their stage of development doing what kids do at that stage. As parents, we have to learn how to work through that as best we can and get out on the other side with our sanity and our relationships with our children in tact.

Above all else, we have to fight every day to choose joy in parenthood, or Satan will steal it. He’ll lull us into a cycle where we focus on all the things our children are doing wrong and miss all the wonderful things about them. That’s how he steals the joy in families, especially from mothers.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Oh man! That opens up so much more to talk about when it comes to our children, and more I should tell you about my struggle with my mommy-temper, but I should probably move on for now. I imagine there’ll be more opportunity for me to revisit this subject soon enough.

What situations are most difficult for you when it comes to your children’s behavior? What makes you “lose it”? What tips and advice have you found to work when you’re in tough interactions with your children?

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Next week is a first on the Servant Girl Stories blog – we’ll have a guest post! You’ll meet Leigh Anderson, founder of Be Still Mama, a women’s ministry at First Baptist Church of Indian Trail. Join me next week for her post about what happens when we have a critical spirit.

Coincidence or Christ?

March 23, 2018March 22, 2018 / hhooks / 2 Comments

What do you make of events in your life – of one thing causing another or of one thing happening at the “perfect time?” Do occurrences happen merely by chance or is God’s sovereign hand putting together the pieces of the puzzle?

For the longest time I was a skeptic about such matters. I didn’t believe in Jesus for about 10 years so naturally I wouldn’t see His hand in things. I was more in the “coincidence camp”. Only recently have I started to see that God does have a sovereign hand, and He can orchestrate details and events days, weeks, months, or even years before they actually happen and have them come out the way He wants them to come out for the purpose that He has in mind.

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Photo Credit: Pinterest

I heard one such story this past Sunday morning. It’s the kind of story I would have brushed off as serendipity in the past. If I had heard someone share it 10 years ago, I would have rolled my eyes, especially if that person tried to say that God made it happen the way it did. But this past Sunday morning when I heard the story, I never doubted God’s involvement for a second.

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The FBCIT choir was practicing just before we went into the loft for the 9:30 service. Our director, Matthew Slemp, said he had a story to tell us – the story of a man who attended our church and who had a song request for the choir. During the week, the man had gotten word to Matthew that he would really appreciate it if the choir could fill his request during the coming Sunday service.

Click here to read the blog post about how we started attending FBCIT.

Some representatives from the church went to visit him and ask his request. He explained that his daughter was not a believer but would be at church with the family on Sunday morning. The man asked if the choir could possibly sing a song that we have sung in the past called “Lord,You’re Holy.”. When the request got back to Matthew, he could hardly believe his ears. This was the song that was already on the schedule for Sunday morning! 12 weeks ago when the service and the music selections were being prayed over this song was chosen. So this past Sunday morning this is what our choir sang.

This recording was not made this past Sunday but during another worship service in the past. Mrs. Jessie Chavis is the soloist.

Click here to watch our choir sing “Lord, You’re Holy”

I haven’t heard whether the young lady actually came to church and heard the song. I don’t know if it had the influence her father (and our choir) had prayed it would. Like I mentioned in last week’s post, little things/BIG THINGS, we may never know the outcome of the things we do – whether the young lady was influenced by the song or not – but we still do whatever we are called to do.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Are you in the “coincidence camp” or the “Christ’s Sovereign Hand camp? If you see God’s influence, what events have you known Him to orchestrate either in your life or someone else’s? Please share those experiences here.

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Portrait of a Servant Girl – Meggan’s Story – Part 1

February 15, 2018March 10, 2021 / hhooks / 2 Comments

Author’s Note: All my sisters in Christ are Servant Girls, and we’ve all been given God’s stories to tell. I’m grateful to be able to write to you over the next couple of weeks about Meggan and her story. We met over breakfast and talked about 2 1/2 hours about how she met Jesus, how He changed her when she gave Him her heart, and how He is working in her family right now. It is my pleasure to introduce you to Meggan Love…

Where is God in the mundane? Where is He in tragedy? Where is He when you can’t decide whether to go down this road or that one? Simply put, He’s right where He’s always been – going before you, making a way for you. All you really have to do is whatever He says.

God began speaking to Meggan through her pastor at the church she attended with her parents when she was 6 years old. At the end of the sermon, the pastor asked for people to raise their hands if they wanted to accept Jesus into their hearts. For 6 months he asked, and for 6 months, Meggan raised her hand. Every time, her parents told her to put down her hand. They didn’t think she realized what the pastor was asking.

Finally, Meggan’s mom and dad asked if she really wanted to do what the preacher had asked, and she told them yes! He’d asked if she wanted Jesus in her heart, and she did! Appeased, her parents took her to talk with their pastor. Afterwards, 6 year old Meggan asked Jesus to come into her life, and she was baptized.

Meggan, age 6, about the time she received God’s salvation and was baptized. Image used courtesy of Meggan Love.

“It was childlike faith,” she told me, her tone matter-of-fact. “Obviously, I didn’t understand all the theology and eschatology, and all of that other stuff,” she smiled, gesturing in circles over her heard. “But, I knew He died for me, and He rose for me, and I wanted to go to heaven and be with Him.”

What drew Meggan to God, even as a 6 year old, was the overwhelming feeling of love. “He loved me enough to die for me,” Meggan emphasized. “I was very young, but I understood that important truth and that made me want to live for Him and serve Him.”

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Even though Meggan was a small child when she made this decision, she distinctly remembers the change that occurred in her once she received the Holy Spirit. “Before I had the Holy Spirit, I was very selfish,” she confessed. “It was all about me, me, me! But once I gave my heart to Christ, I began experiencing strong conviction from the Holy Spirit. I’ve never been afraid to speak my mind,” she told me with a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth, “but having the Holy Spirit gave me confidence to speak up for Christ. For example, “she said, sitting up straighter at the table, “when I was in the 4th grade, I had a classmate who was Muslim. One day, he told me that he hated Jesus. ‘I don’t know why,’ I said back to him, ‘He loves you’!”

The Holy Spirit convicted Meggan to spend time studying the Bible, being alone with God and praying to Him. Peer pressure from friends was still a real struggle for her as was her desire to be selfish. She still made poor choices from time to time, as anyone would, but she was almost immediately convicted.

“I remember occasions where I would look at my friends and tell them that what we were considering doing was sin. That was because of the strength and power of the Holy Spirit living in me.”

In middle school, Meggan felt the tug on her heart to begin praying for her future husband! (This was actually something her parents had prayed for both Meggan and her brother years before. Her parents prayed that both their children would meet their spouses while they were young).

Photo Credit: Pinterest

“I had 3 requirements,” Meggan said.

“For what your husband would be like?” I clarified.

“Yes,” she nodded once. “I asked God to send me a husband who was Southern, Christian, and who could make me laugh,” she counted on her fingers as she listed. “I prayed for them in that order, too!” She pointed out, her eyes wide. “Not really sure why it was so important for him to be Southern, but that was always first on my list.”

“Does Dane make you laugh?” I asked, a knowing smile passing between us. (We were in Life Group at FBCIT with Meggan and Dane for about 5 years).

Meggan rolled her eyes but blushed a little. “Oh yeah! He does!” She said emphatically. “Every day! He makes me crazy, but he definitely makes me laugh.”

Meggan and Dane’s relationship began in the 8th grade; they were 13. “I knew early on that he’d be my husband,” she confided. “But knowing that at such a young age, and loving him the way I already did scared me! So, I broke up with him the summer before 9th grade,” she said firmly. “I just wasn’t ready for all that. But,” she continued with a quick shrug of her shoulders, “we got back together in the middle of 10th grade and have been together since.”

Dane and Meggan before the 10th grade winter formal – 2002. They had just begun dating again. Image used courtesy of Meggan Love.

Dane and Meggan at their high school graduation – 2004. Image used courtesy of Meggan Love.

Before they were married, Meggan was able to help lead Dane to Christ. Dane had been baptized, but he confessed to Meggan one day that altar calls made him uncomfortable. Meggan explained to him that the feeling of discomfort was God’s conviction. He wanted to draw Dane into a closer relationship. So, Dane and Meggan prayed together, and Dane asked God to be his Savior.

“Did Dane change after that?” I asked Meggan.

“Definitely,” she responded. “I saw him become much more passionate about Christ, for getting to know the Lord and learning about our faith. It actually spurred me into a deeper relationship, too.”

Wedding day – 2007. Image used courtesy of Meggan Love

Dane and Meggan were married in 2007. God has continued to work in their lives both individually and as a couple. For Meggan, that means God is still working to change her heart in the area of expectations of others. She admits that nothing is ever good enough for her.

“It’s always been part of my sin nature,” she revealed. “I remember it when I was little. I’d get presents for my birthday but wonder why I didn’t get more or why this one thing I wanted was left out.

As an adult, specifically as a mother, this presents itself in another way. “I’ll come home from work or running errands when Dane has been at home with the girls, and as soon as I hit the door, I start listing everything that’s wrong…breakfast dishes are still on the table, the kitchen is a mess, the clean clothes haven’t been put into the dryer…” she trailed off, shaking her head. “It isn’t enough that he fed them and kept them alive while I was gone! I never point out the things he has done; I just focus on what I think is lacking. That thing from when I was little, it’s still there. It’s part of my sin nature. It’s getting better though. I feel conviction to see the positives and ignore the negatives, or I am convicted to take a step back before it goes too far and apologize to the person and repent to God. It’s just a work in progress. The older I get, the more I realize that our faith grows as we grow. That’s how it’s supposed to be. We go through seasons. It’s a race to run all the way to the finish, and it’s a cross-country run rather than a sprint. We just have to continue to let Him change our hearts.”

Currently, Meggan’s in the motherhood season of her life; she is mommy to 4 precious little girls: Joyce, Faith, Renzori, and Delaney. This is the race she is running today.

When she sat down across the table from me, before we began our interview for this post, she sighed, “I don’t know, Heather…Servant Girl? I just don’t feel like I am one. I’m just mommy right now. I’m just sitting around nursing my baby.” She gestured over to then 4-month-old Delaney, snoozing quietly in her carrier.

But, I know that God has given everyone a story, and I already knew a little about Meggan’s. I knew you needed to read it so you could see God as He has revealed Himself to Meggan.

She can tell you that God will be with you at your lowest point. There may be a fleeting thought that He’s deserted you, but then you have those quiet moments, like when it’s 3 in the morning and you’re up changing diapers and nursing your newborn, and life “circles back” as Meggan put it, and you see what He was doing in the midst of your pain and suffering.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Now that she’s had time to look back, Meggan can see that God was with her even in that specific moment, about 5 years ago, when He clearly told her something to do, and she said no. “I literally stomped my foot, and said no!” She told me, shaking her head at her own audacity.

But God was still with her.

What did God ask of Meggan that caused such a defiant response? Join me back here next week for Part 2 of Meggan’s story, and I’ll tell you.

Starr Says Stay in Your Lane {A Blog Recommendation}

February 9, 2018February 8, 2018 / hhooks / 2 Comments

“You be you, friend.

And let them be them.”

I was reading the Thirsty Thursday installment of the blog, The Daily Starr, by Starr Haigler, and it was as if she were speaking directly to me here…

“You be you…”

In her blog, Starr has a prescribed theme for each day (#makeovermonday, #trashouttuesday, etc). #thirstythursday posts focus on God and His Word and His promise to give us living water so we don’t have to thirst ever again. In this particular entry, she implored readers to walk the path God had set for them. Her point was that God has given each of us spiritual gifts (she used 1 Peter 4:10-11 to support this), and we are to use them to serve Him, to bring Him glory.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Watch out – she reminds us – Satan will employ one of his age-old tricks to get your attention off your gifts and hinder your ability to do what God has for you to do: comparison. Starr points out, “My gift is not your gift. And if I focus too much on your gift, I’ll miss what God has ahead for me in this journey. If I want everything I do to bring glory to God – I need to be me and use the gifts God has blessed me with.”

Photo Credit: Pinterest

This post was particularly inspiring for me because I am someone who tends to listen to that voice telling me that I’m too shy or what I have to say isn’t very interesting or my past will hinder me from helping people see God.

What Starr had to say here reminded me that God has, in fact, given me gifts. God has given me a path to follow. My path won’t look like anyone else’s because it’s mine. It might be narrow. It might be hard to see what is ahead or where exactly I’m going, but it is the one ordained for me. I need to stay focused on my gifts and my path.

It inspired me to think about what it is God has for me to do during this time He has given me here.

{Plus, the images of the snow in the trees and on the road were beautiful as were the others she included in this post!}

Check out this post, You don’t have to be like everyone else, and note the simple yet poignant prayer at the end.

One read and I’ll bet you’ll want to subscribe to receive your daily dose of encouragement and inspiration. I certainly have.

Photo Credit: The Daily Starr

Portrait of a Servant Girl – Donna’s Story Part 2

January 26, 2018April 18, 2018 / hhooks / 6 Comments

That time you thought God had left you all alone…that He wasn’t doing anything in your life anymore…that wasn’t true. He was working. He was orchestrating this detail to fit in with that detail so that something extraordinary would come of it. You wanted hamburger steak that very minute, but He had filet mignon on the menu. You just had to wait. Sometimes you have to trust. And wait.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Ask Donna. She knows. She’s lived it. She’s experienced it. And she’ll tell you. It was God the whole time.

(If you haven’t read Part 1 of Donna’s story, please go back to read it, then join us back here).

Donna told me, “My testimony used to be about how God changed me. Now, with Courtney, and everything He’s done in that situation, I truly believe in miracles. I knew they happened before, but I have been part of one now, so I KNOW. I see how God put things together, how He orchestrated everything to work together for our good. I know this doesn’t always apply to earthly comforts,” she continued, “but I cling to God’s promise in Romans 8:28: And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

About 6 months ago, Donna was forced to come face-to-face with something that had been a stronghold in her older daughter Courtney’s life for nearly 8 years: substance abuse and addiction.

For years, there were a multitude of signs that there was a major problem. Donna admits that either she didn’t see them or wouldn’t see them – it was probably a little of both.

“I would catch her in lies; there were several car wrecks and wellness problems; she was always sleepy – I could go on and on,” Donna explained. “Trust me when I tell you that the hardest thing to do as a parent is to let your kids make mistakes and suffer the consequences. Sometimes you just have to step back and put TOUGH LOVE into action.”

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Then there was the time, about 3 ½ years ago, when Donna intended to step in and help. “Courtney and Madison came to spend the weekend with us, supposedly because Steve (Courtney’s boyfriend, and Madison’s father, who she was living with at the time) was horrible, doing drugs, etc. and she ‘just had to get away.’ I believed those lies and really wanted to help her get out of that situation. The only way I could think of making that happen was for her to come stay with us for a while. So, in order to convince Kevin of my great idea, I had a Plan A and a Plan B. I had it all figured out and was ready to present it to him,” Donna smiled, remembering that night when she was ready to tell Kevin her ideas. They’d eaten dinner together after Courtney and Madison had gotten there. “I asked Kevin if we could talk, and we went out into the garage. We get out there, and before I could even say anything, Kevin says, ‘She’s not coming here, Donna. You can’t keep doing this. She won’t learn, and it won’t be good for our marriage’.”

Donna was quiet for a moment, letting the weight of what Kevin said sink in, for herself and for me. She looked straight at me; I could see resolution in her eyes. “This is when I knew for sure that God was Lord of my life, by the way. This conversation with Kevin proved it to me. I had my Plan A and my Plan B all ready for him, but he completely shut me down. I didn’t even get a chance to explain my ideas! I never even asked if the girls could come! Kevin just told me no! Flat out no! I didn’t even get to tell him my plan,” she emphasized. “But, when he told me no, I just said ‘ok’, and I was honestly ok with it. It was like God just said, ‘Donna go ahead and submit.’ And I did. And I was ok. I knew Kevin was right, and that I should respect him. That is when I realized God truly had changed me and truly was in control of my life.”

You might be thinking, ‘how could anyone say that kicking out your child was still the best thing that could have happened?’

Well, there’s still more.

Over the next 3 year period, Donna dealt with theft as Courtney stole from her, even her identity! There were “lies on top of lies on top of lies,” as Donna put it. She even had to call DSS to ensure Madison’s safety. “Some days it seemed like they were doing good, and then other days — well, not so good,” Donna said.

In June 2016, Courtney had another baby, Mackenzie. She seemed to be doing good for the first few months after Mackenzie was born, but again, things were up and down.

Then in 2017, Courtney totaled her car one morning after dropping Madison off at school. Courtney told Donna (much later) that the first thing she saw when the wreck was over was Mackenzie’s car seat. It was empty, and she couldn’t remember if Mackenzie had been with her. She was under the influence at the time and couldn’t recall where Mackenzie was, so for a few frantic moments, some bystanders searched feverishly for the baby…until Courtney remembered she’d left Mackenzie with the baby’s father, Steve.

This crash landed Courtney in the hospital. And drug tested. This was a wake up call for Courtney, but it wasn’t “rock bottom” yet.

A few months later, Courtney would get high at Donna and Kevin’s house during a visit. No one realized it until everyone was back in the car taking Courtney and the girls home.

Donna recalled the scene for me. “We were all in the car together taking them back home when Madison asked, ‘Mommy, why are you talking funny again? Why are you laying all over me?’ I looked back and Courtney is laughing all weird and leaning over on Madison and then over onto Mackenzie.”

Donna said, “I nudged Kevin and said, ‘Look at her! She is high right now’!” Donna looked straight at me and said, “Heather, if my granddaughters hadn’t been in the car, I would have put Courtney out on the side of the road right there! But I couldn’t do that in front of them.”

Instead, they went ahead to Courtney’s uncle’s house where she was currently living. On the way, they called Steve and Courtney’s Uncle David and Aunt Beth. Once Steve arrived and the girls were safe, Donna left.

This was Courtney’s rock bottom.

About two weeks later, Courtney called Donna confessing her problem and her need for help. “I need somewhere to go now, mom,” Courtney insisted. So, Donna gave her some places to call, and Courtney was able to go to a 7-day detox facility in Monroe. The next step would hopefully be a treatment center.

Here’s where you begin to see how God was working in the situation, and it is so awesome:

Donna was praying. Kevin was praying. Everyone was praying: “Lord, Courtney has to get long-term treatment immediately! Right now! You’ve got to open a bed somewhere. Please show us the place You want her to go.”

Prior to this, Donna had gotten involved in a prayer group with some friends, praying specifically for their wayward, adult children. Each mom picked a day/time to pray so that these adult children were covered every day of the week. Donna’s day is Tuesday.

As it happened, on a Wednesday morning, Donna emailed this prayer group, her Life Group, and the G2 Leadership Team (a Women’s Mentoring ministry from FBCIT in which Donna serves) asking them to pray for God to do a miracle and open a bed somewhere for Courtney.

Then, that Wednesday night after choir practice, Donna got a call from a friend in the prayer group, who got a call from another lady from the group who saw Donna’s email and was asking if she’d heard of a place in Monroe called the Solace Center, facilitated by pastor Michelle Feliciano, and best of all, they had a bed available right then!

Donna called them on Thursday morning to see exactly what kind of facility it was, and it sounded just like what they’d been looking for, so she called Courtney and told her of their availability and to call herself to see if it would be a fit.

Courtney called, got an appointment to see them on Friday, went for her Orientation on Saturday, and checked in that very day at 1:30!!!

You see, long before this ever happened, God had this special prayer group of moms planned. God had already set it into motion for Donna to be a part of that group. God put all of this together to get Donna in touch with a friend of a friend who knew about the Solace Center where God had a bed available…just for Courtney. (There were lots of others from Donna and Kevin’s family, friends, and Life Group praying for Courtney as well. Donna and Kevin are thankful for each and every prayer).

Today, Courtney is transformed beyond anything Donna could have hoped. She is clean and sober and on fire for the Lord! She is already almost halfway through the program. She has a job and pays weekly rent at the center. The best part, though, is that Courtney has now made Jesus the Lord of her life! See, she asked Jesus into her heart years ago, but she strayed. However, God brought her to a point of confession and repentance, and Courtney has not been the same since.

Courtney with Madison (Image used courtesy of Donna Lawing)

Courtney with Mackenzie (Image used courtesy of Donna Lawing)

What’s more, Donna and Kevin have found opportunities to serve together in ministry at Solace. They serve on the Solace Board and their Life Group ministers to the Solace group as well. Most recently, they had a blast bringing in the new year 100% clean and sober (and no hangover the next day) at a party with the Solace residents.

Donna and Kevin’s Life Group team for the Solace Kick Addiction Kickball Tournament (Image used courtesy of Donna Lawing)

Donna, Madison, and Courtney at the Solace New Years Eve party (Image used courtesy of Donna Lawing).

Donna with Pastor Michelle Feliciano of the Solace Center (Image used courtesy of Donna Lawing)

“I’ve been mad at God about this,” Donna shared, “and I have been mad at Courtney, but now I just look at all that He has done through something so terrible! He restored my family. The relationship between my daughter and me has been fully restored; and many other family relationships have been restored through this! He has transformed my daughter’s life and just 2 weeks ago, Madison asked Jesus into her heart. My husband and I are serving together in ministry outside the walls of church. I’ve learned how to have empathy and compassion for people who have been jailed or who suffer from addiction. God has shown me so many things. He changed me from who I was, and that alone was enough, but then He’s done so much more.”

Donna’s daughters and granddaughters (Image used courtesy of Donna Lawing)

Christmas Morning 2017 (Image used courtesy of Donna Lawing)

I could tell she was excited, so I asked her what she wanted people to know about God. Without hesitation, she answered, “He is real! What He did, sending his Son to die on the cross for us, He didn’t have to do. He’s a good, good Father. There is nothing better. He wants a relationship with us. He loves YOU, and He wants YOU to come back. He wants to talk to you. How? Through prayer. This is our communication with our Lord, and it is also our weapon, along with the Sword (the Word), against Satan.” She paused for a minute so I could catch up as I quickly scribbled in my notes.

More calmly and quietly she continued, “He was the ultimate servant. What if we all served…each other?! We should because Jesus served, and serving is love.”

Photo Credit: Pinterest

So, this is another story God has given one of His servant girls. And she was gracious enough to allow me to write it so you could know God – who He is, what He can do, and how deeply He loves us.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Just for fun…

Here are a few fun tidbits about Donna:

I asked what actress would play her in a movie about her life. She said, “Reese Witherspoon or Julia Roberts. I LOVE them!” She said the movie would most likely be something inspirational or encouraging.

Reese Witherspoon

Julia Roberts

Donna loves Christian music!

Chris Tomlin – Donna’s Favorite artist – Photo Credit: Pinterest

This is Donna’s current favorite song to dance to and sing at the top of her lungs! Listen to Old Church Choir by Zach Williams

You can listen to Donna’s most favorite song of all time, Thou, O Lord performed by First Baptist Cleveland choir and orchestra.

Please join me next week for another post from Servant Girl Stories.