When Satan Tries to Lie

February 1, 2019September 6, 2022 / hhooks / 5 Comments

I am alone. It’s calm and quiet in the house. I’m standing still in the middle of the room. Yet my brain is swirling and my pulse is quickening and my eyes are widening.

What’s going on? I ask myself.

Whatever it is started small but quickly escalated to the point that my head might explode.

I quickly retrace my steps.

Oh…yes…thoughts about the day’s to-do list started this!

OK. Now I know what’s going on, and I know how to stop it.

I breathe. I speak Jesus’ name. I ask Him to remind me of the promises He made – that He loves me. That He will never leave me. That I can trust Him with all my problems and fears.

The-Stronghold-–-The-Lent-Series-–-Part-6-Digital-Sabbath-Pocket-Fuel-on-Psalm-91-2.jpg

Photo Credit: Pktfuel.com

The thoughts racing around my brain begin to slow. My heart beat calms, and the muscles around my forehead and eyes relax.

I sit down and actually write out the to-do list. Calmly. Then I get up and move on with my day.

It took a while to realize what was happening when I worked myself into this frenzy. I don’t know how long I’ve dealt with it although I probably accepted the experience as a normal part of my life at some point.

But no more.

I realize the lie now, and I know what to do.

GodFruits.com

It was sometime in the last year that I really caught myself getting into this fixation over my daily tasks and analyzed where it was coming from.

This particular morning, it was barely 6 AM on a quiet, week-day morning in June, but I had already working myself into that familiar frenzy.

I began thinking of all I had to do and comparing it to the {perceived} available time in my day and convinced myself that I didn’t have time to do what I needed to do.

Before I knew it, I was standing still in the middle of the room but feeling pulled in 100 different directions.

Worrying over not being able to get everything done was keeping me from getting anything done!

On a previous such occasion, in the throes of that fray, God revealed to me that the frenzy and hopelessness I felt originated with Satan. God also showed me that I allowed it to continue to happen to me.

I allowed this pattern to emerge, for the father of lies to get this grip on my mind. But the truth is, he probably doesn’t have to do much anymore to get me going. He’s on auto pilot with me now. I do it for him.

I render myself useless.

Nothing will get checked off my list if I’m already telling myself that I don’t have time to check things off my list.

So, I told him to get away. I literally said, “get behind me, Satan, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. ”

Instantly, the weight clinched around my heart dropped away, the smog filling my head cleared, and I calmed down. Since that episode, I’ve gotten better and better at recognizing his schemes and banishing them faster each time. Just like I did that morning this past June.

In moments of weakness, I still let him get started on me. I begin listing my tasks and looking at the clock. Then the dread starts in my chest and tries to creep up my neck to make me clench my teeth.

Then I realize I’ve stepped too near the quicksand again, and I move before I get sucked down. Thankfully God revealed this lie to me. He revealed the scheme and made it clear that I played a role in perpetuating it.

Now, I can usually stop myself before it goes too far.

If there really is a lot to accomplish, I take a minute to write out all I need to do. Next I note the “due date” for each task. This helps me prioritize and get a clear picture of what needs my attention now and what can wait.

Then I get started.

It’s all a distraction, you see. Something to make me take my eyes off what’s really important. Just like last weekend when Satan tried to distract me from hearing God speak to me at a women’s retreat.

It’s the same with my to-do list. If the liar can get me bogged down in the list, I get frustrated. Frustration leads to anxiousness, and I’ll drown. I’ll be angry that I have too much to do and not enough time, and I’ll shake my fist and become angry at God. Meanwhile, Satan, the one who’s actually to blame, can sneak off while my back is turned and pounce on someone else and infect someone else’s mind with his lies.

I don’t want that to happen – to me or anyone else.

So, we have to talk with God. We have to listen to Him. We have to read His Word. We have to surround ourselves with other people who love Him and can point us toward His Truth.

Satan's lies.jpg

And we have to do it now – the sooner the better.

Now, where’d I put that to-do list…

How Satan Used the Size of My Shirt to {Almost} Ruin My Weekend Retreat

January 24, 2019July 16, 2020 / hhooks / 9 Comments

It happened because I chose the wrong shirt size. I probably shoulda gotten a medium, but I got a small. It fit fine over my arms, shoulders, and chest, but I’m a pear shape, so it was a little snug over my rear end and my hips.

This was over the weekend at the Be Still Mama women’s retreat I attended at The Cove in Asheville. (This was my second Be Still Mama retreat at The Cove. If you’ve never been to The Cove, you absolutely HAVE to go).

When we arrived Friday, the 70 participants changed into our retreat t-shirts and took a group picture.

Be Still Mama Women’s Retreat Winter 2019

“Mine is a little big,” one of the ladies commented after we put on our shirts. The sleeves, meant to be three-quarter length and fitted, were longer and hung loosely. The body of the shirt itself fell over her petite torso and covered her backside. It looked comfortable but oversized.

“What size did you get?” I inquired.

“Medium,” was her reply.

“Oh!” I said, a little surprised. “You should have gotten a small.”

“No way,” she responded. “It would have been way too tight and clingy all over my stomach.”

I was silent. Here stood this lady clearly more petite than me saying she wouldn’t order a small shirt because it would be too clingy…while I stood there in a size small shirt that I repeatedly tugged over my rear end and hips.

All of a sudden, it hit me like a hot wave…those old, familiar feelings of inferiority and self-consciousness.

Before I knew it, my mind was racing…

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“You don’t really belong.”

“That shirt is too little! What made you think you could fit into a small?!”

“Your face is breaking out, too,”

“Can’t you do anything with that crazy, curly hair!?”

And I just wanted to shut myself in my room for the rest of the weekend.

I didn’t want anyone to see the shirt stretched over my hips or the acne on my face or the frizz on my head.

I didn’t want to be there anymore.

But, I went to dinner and to our first session that evening. I sang the praise and worship songs and turned to 1 Kings 17 in my Bible. Afterward, I went back to my cabin and hid in my room for a little while – fiddling with the stuff in my suitcase and taking off my make-up and brushing my teeth and putting on my pajamas. Finally, I made myself go to the den to talk with my cabin-mates.

The whole time, the inferiority and self-consciousness was still there – feeding itself on my weakened spirit.

The next morning, I woke up after a sound night’s sleep and puzzled for a little while.

“What was that all about last night?” I wondered.

After all, nobody had said anything directly to me. The lady had only made a comment about her own shirt.

Then, I realized it! That was Satan. He did that. He brought up all those negative thoughts and insecurities.

I could have done a forehead-slap! Why didn’t I realize it was him as soon as it started?

And why in the world was he after me anyway?

Oh…duh! (another forehead-slap moment) I was at a Christian women’s retreat!

Of course it was a plan to distract me. If Satan could distract me by getting me all wrapped up in self-consciousness, I would miss the message God had for me.

And every.thing.made.sense!

I stood right there in the middle of the bathroom where I’d been washing my face when I had my epiphany, and I said, “that’s enough! I’m not doing this today. I came here to spend some quiet, relaxing time with Jesus, and that’s what I’m going to do!”

Any time I even thought those feelings might come back at any point over the weekend, I reminded myself:

Those thoughts are from Satan. He wants to distract me this weekend, but he isn’t going to win. Jesus is with me, and He has something to say to me that I want to hear.

And I went on with my day!

Honestly, that kind of thing has happened to me a lot in my life. I’ve only recently been aware of what is really going on – a spiritual attack – and been able to combat it by praying and asking God to intervene for me.

I imagine this has happened to you before, too. Hopefully, you realized what was going on and put a stop to it before you got sucked too far down in the muck.

The sooner we get a handle on what’s truly happening, the sooner we can stop it.

Recognize the attack and the attacker and immediately resist it with prayer, by calling on Jesus name, or by rebuking Satan and letting him know he has no place in your mind and in your heart.

Don’t let him ruin one more beautiful moment of your life.

The infamous shirt 😉

The Quiet Advent Calendar (Repost)

December 1, 2018 / hhooks / Leave a comment

It’s December 1. Did you start your Quiet Advent Calendar? (I’m a little old-fashioned, so I printed out a hard copy of mine 🙂 ) This is a repost of last week’s post, but I don’t want you to miss it. Please join me:

The frenzy is already building. Can you feel it?! The frenzy that is the Christmas season – only 31 more shopping days to go! Who’s left on my gift list? What am I going to bake to take to my in-laws’ house on Christmas Eve? I didn’t even start decorating yet!!!

Oh my goodness! No wonder we rarely enjoy the season anymore. It’s too crazy busy.

Let’s take back the holiday season this year. Let’s focus on the real reason we celebrate – the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Let’s prepare our hearts for the Advent season.

I’d like to invite you to “The Quiet Advent Calendar” from my friend, Julianne Gilchrist. Join me in 24 days of delighting in this season of Advent. I’m excited for this Advent Calendar because, as I’ve gotten to know Julianne over the past 6 months, I’ve discovered that she’s all about slowing down, breathing in, and just being with God. Her concern is helping people learn to hear God’s voice above the hum-drum of life. And I can see her desire for sacred space built into “The Quiet Advent Calendar.”

If you plan to join, let me know, and we can walk through it together. Just click on “The Quiet Advent Calendar”, fill in your name and email address, click Send Me The Quiet Advent Calendar, and settle in and get ready.

I can’t wait to get started.

The Quiet Advent Calendar

November 24, 2018 / hhooks / Leave a comment

Oh my goodness! No wonder we rarely enjoy the season anymore. It’s too crazy busy.

Let’s take back the holiday season this year. Let’s focus on the real reason we celebrate – the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Let’s prepare our hearts for the Advent season.

I can’t wait to get started.

My Dog’s Trash Can Looting Helped Me Understand How God Responds to Sin

November 9, 2018November 9, 2018 / hhooks / 3 Comments

When Zoe, our miniature schnauzer, is bored, she goes into a bathroom and roots through the trash can. Her favorite item to shred is the toilet paper someone used to blow their nose. She’ll also pull out napkins, chewed gum…basically whatever she thinks she can tear up. We’ve learned to keep our bathroom doors closed since the bathroom trash cans are the ones she raids.

Zoe on her first birthday – June 2018

Just the other day, I saw a piece of shredded napkin on the floor and started to get upset but stopped to ask myself – why? Why would she nose through smelly, nasty trash when she could chew on any of the dog toys lying around on the floor?

Does that look like the face of a dog that would do anything wrong? Does it?

Why choose something trashy over something you were meant to have?

Then I realized God might ask himself this same question when His children choose sin over Him.

“My child,” He wonders, “why dig through the trash when I’ve set blessings in front of you? Why work so hard to find something sinful to fill your time when you could sit quietly at my feet and be satisfied?”

I’ve noticed that Zoe is more likely to turn to trash can looting when no one is paying her any attention. It’s like she can’t figure out what to do with herself, so she turns to the easiest thing: digging in garbage.

Her favorite place to be – my lap 🙂

Isn’t that when sin creeps in on us, too? When we think no one is looking? When we’re idle? Bored? It’s much quicker and easier to turn to something sinful than to turn to something good…and I don’t even mean something extreme like turning on the computer to look at pornography…although that could be the case.

I’m talking about those things we default to when there’s a moment of idleness – scrolling Facebook or Instagram and comparing your body, house, spouse, car, job, clothes, children to what you see on your feed; jumping on Amazon and ordering the Deal of the Day just because it’s 30% off and you have Prime so shipping is free even though you know that purchase will put you over the budget you and your spouse agreed on at the beginning of the month; turning on the TV to watch that show you find so entertaining but is filling your heart and mind with thoughts that don’t glorify God.

Photo Credit: Beautiful Simplicity Blog

Look, I’m talking to myself here. I’ve turned to all these things and plenty others when I didn’t want to take the time to think of something wholesome to do. When I just wanted to chill out. When I needed an activity that required no real thought or effort…just for a moment.

I promise. I’ve been there, and I’m not preaching to you or fussing at you.

But, that little moment is when sin creeps in. The jealousy. The lust. The anger. The gluttony. The laziness.

And sin is what keeps us from God.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

I don’t want sin to keep me away from God. I want to be able to go to Him clean. So, I have to repent. That means that I am more than just sorry that I got caught; I am remorseful to the point of turning – away from that sin, away from that lifestyle, away from that way of thinking, away from whatever stands between God and me. I turn from that, and I look to God.

Repentance was one of the first messages Jesus taught when he began his public ministry. Both Matthew’s and Mark’s gospels record Jesus as speaking about repentance right away. So it must be important.

That means I have to do it.

That means you have to do it.

Ask God to show your sin to you. Ask Him to convict you. Then turn from that sin and go the other way…toward Him.

What Obedience Feels Like

October 25, 2018July 16, 2020 / hhooks / 6 Comments

“I didn’t work on you for 8 years to let you sit at home.”

That’s the word I got from God any time I so much as thought about what the future held for me after my daughter started school this year.

I knew Bill expected me to go back to work. I knew what I had in mind. What I didn’t know was…what would God have me do?

I prayed for my will to be done, but I knew in my heart that just wouldn’t do…especially with God telling me I was going back out into the world.

So, I applied for some work-from-home jobs just because I’m hard-headed, but I also looked into some outside-of-the-home jobs.

Then, last December, at my daughter’s preschool Christmas program, I mentioned to the director that she should hire me as her assistant.

“Don’t you need an assistant?” I asked her. I knew the answer because I witnessed how hard she worked.

“I would love to have one,” she confessed. “But we don’t have the budget for that position.” And then, in the very next breath, she asked, “Would you be interested in teaching for us?”

Long after this conversation, she revealed to me that the question just came out of her mouth when she opened it. It wasn’t something she already had on her mind.

She was surprised.

I was flabbergasted.

You see, I’m not what you’d call a “kid-person.”

My husband totally is! I call him a child-whisperer. When we work in a 3-year-old classroom at church, those kids are Kuh-Razy about him. They flock to him with books to read. They want to sit on his lap. They want him to pick at them or play with them or chase them around the room.

Meanwhile, I’m over there pouring out Goldfish onto paper towels for their snack.

“Kid-people” just seem to know how to work well with children. They’re patient and even-tempered. They know how to look at children and how to talk to them. “Kid-people” are funny. Children are attracted to “kid-people.” It’s something about the sound of their voices or how they smile…who knows?!

Whatever it is, I don’t naturally have it.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t dislike children – I’m crazy about my children for sure – but kids, as a general rule, aren’t attracted to me the way they’re attracted to “kid-people.”

So, when the preschool director asked me if I would be interested in teaching, I immediately started backing away…in my mind.

But I didn’t want to blow it off completely, so I told her it was a possibility. And, I filled out and sent in a job application.

That was December 2017, and I knew then that I’d work at that preschool.

The more I thought about it and talked with God about it, the more He solidified it for me.

And, I was ok with it. I knew I heard God’s voice, and I realized where He was leading me.

I’m not doing this out of my own strength or power or abilities; God is doing this through me.

Photo Credit: First5

Moses was reluctant to obey God and go to Egypt to free the Israelites. He repeatedly questioned God about his own abilities to get the people out. In Exodus 4:10, Moses said, “Please, Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since Thou has spoken to they servant, for I am slow of speech and slow of tongue…”

Gideon was another man who argued about his ability to follow God’s command. In Judges 6:15, he said, “O Lord, how shall I deliver Israel? Behold, my family is the least in Manasseh, and I am the youngest in my Father’s house.”

Despite Moses’ reluctance, God sent him to tell Pharaoh to release the Israelites from captivity. And Pharaoh let the people go!

Even though Gideon wasn’t a strong warrior, God sent him to lead the battle against Midian. And the Israelites won!.

I’m not a natural kid-person, but God is using me to teach children.

God can do things through you that you cannot do in your own power.

I trust His ways. He is in control. If He wants me to teach preschool, then I’m teaching preschool until He tells me otherwise.

He put me there because there is something He wants to show me. There is something I have to learn or there is something I have to do there.

It really doesn’t matter what it is. I’m there, and I’m ready for it. When it is time, He will show me.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

I don’t want to give the impression that I hate my job because I don’t. I have not driven into that parking lot once and wished I wasn’t there. I don’t stare at the clock wishing it was time to go home.

What I am saying is that I realize God has asked me to do something that is not in my character. He’s asked me to do something beyond my natural abilities. I have to submit myself to Him and let Him do something through me.

That is what obedience is. Sometimes it’s frightening. Sometimes it’s difficult. Sometimes it feels like you can’t do it. And you won’t do it unless you let Him do it through you.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Reflections on Marriage: 14 Years Later

June 15, 2018June 13, 2018 / hhooks / Leave a comment

About a week before Bill and I got married, red bugs ate me up. I’d never had them before and had no idea what the big, itchy bumps were, so I showed them to my mom. As soon as she saw them, she told me to paint every swollen, red and white whelp with clear nail polish.

Then, I spent the rest of the week bathing in Clorox water to get them dried up quickly. AND there was lots and lots of cocoa butter to prevent scarring. I was getting married at the end of the week AND going on a cruise for my honeymoon, for heaven’s sake!

That was 14 years ago this week, and our kids still ask to hear that story and see the pictures of our wedding day; some of which show barely pink dots still visible around my ankles.

June 12, 2004

Realizing our wedding anniversary was coming this week made me think back to that happy day, but it also made me consider every day since – approximately 5,110 of them.

What do I have to show for all this time? What have I learned? How have I grown and changed and matured? Have I picked up any wisdom along the way?

I took a few days to journal about it and also “interviewed” Bill to see what he wanted to share. The first time I had a chance to ask him, he was watching Game 4 of the NBA Finals, so I waited for commercials and halftime break.

You would think I’d have learned by now not to try to have important conversations during sporting events. I’m a little hard-headed, though.

Turns out, we had to talk another time. 🙂

ANYway, here are some of the things 14 years of marriage has taught us:

Bill said: Marriage is about give and take. You won’t always get your way. Sometimes you go to a place you wouldn’t go to or watch something on TV you may not want to watch because you know it’s something the other person likes. Hopefully the other person will do the same for you.

I said: Love is an action, not a feeling. The warm, fuzzy, lying-on-a-bed-of-roses mindset changes. You may not be “in love” with your husband every day, but every day you have to choose to love him, and you show you’ve made that choice by the things you do.

Bill said: A person’s financial status is important. I didn’t think about that much when we were dating, but I know how important it is now – to know how much debt a person has or what their spending habits are like.

(Can you tell the man has heard too much Dave Ramsey)?

I said: It’s ok to argue, to have differences of opinion. It’s actually helpful. You discover more about your spouse and yourself as you work through conflict together. Arguing doesn’t always mean there is a problem with your marriage.

Bill said: I didn’t really know who you were until we got married and lived together. Then, I found out little things like you squeeze toothpaste from the bottom, and I don’t. Or we want thermostat at different temperatures. We don’t wash and fold clothes the same either. If I wasn’t careful, those little things could get to be big problems. I tried to change some of the ways I did things if it made sense to me to do that. Sometimes, you compromise.

I said: Find out what’s important to your husband about how you keep house and care for the kids, especially if you’re a stay-at-home-mom or the one in change of the household stuff. Don’t kill yourself doing all.the.things. (I heard this from Lysa TerKeurst and Proverbs 31 Ministries). Years ago, I asked Bill, “when you come home every day, what’s important for you? Do you want to come home to a clean house? Dinner on the table? Calm and quiet kids? Do you need some downtime when you first get here?” He said he wanted dinner, so that’s what I focus on. Yes, I keep the house as tidy as possible and do laundry and make sure the kids aren’t running naked through the backyard, but the man says he wants dinner ready when he gets home, so that is what he gets.

We agreed that it’s helpful to get to know and (hopefully) get along with your spouse’s family. Bill said, “Most likely, you’ll end up being like your family, especially your mom, and I’ll end up being like my family, especially my dad, so getting to know each other’s family gives insight into who you married.”

We also talked about having children; that brings big changes in your marriage. I asked Bill why he thought that was. He told me it’s because you have to share your wife’s attention after you have a baby. There are other people to think about after that.

Now, I don’t mean to condense 14 years of marriage into 1,000 words or less because it isn’t that simple. There have been fairy-tale days (when we gazed lovingly into each other’s eyes over a romantic, candlelit dinner), and there have been horror movie days (when he walked in the house after work and I was blubbering and handed him a crying baby and went in the bedroom and shut the door).

You get it, right? It’s just life – married, with kids, life.

You appreciate the wonderful seasons because you’ve been through challenging seasons, but you’re wiser for it, and your relationship is much stronger.

I’d love to hear some wisdom you’ve gained from your marriage. Please share how long you’ve been married and what you’ve learned so far.

7 Tips for Fighting Better

June 8, 2018June 8, 2018 / hhooks / 1 Comment

My husband and I had a challenging conversation the other night. I like to call this having a “difference of opinion”. 😉

Have you ever had a difference of opinion with someone? It happens, right?

So why not learn some ways to fight better? No, I don’t mean learn how to always win the fight.

What I’m saying is, let’s learn some better ways to fight so that we can find an amicable solution or so that we can at least can walk away with our feelings and the other person’s feelings in tact.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

7 Tips to Fight Better

Stop. Stay calm. This is important whether the conflict happens on social media or in person. The Bible calls this being “slow to anger,” and is full of verses that speak to the wisdom in remaining composed. Take a moment to stop and pray, even if it’s just a short, “Help me please, Lord.” Take time to think through what happened and ask yourself, “Am I really upset at this? Is this worth getting into a disagreement over?” If the answer is no, move on. If the answer is yes, it’s still a good idea to wait and try to keep your cool.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Acknowledge your own part in the conflict. What assumptions and expectations do you hold that are influencing how you talk about this situation? A related question to ask yourself is, ‘Did I do anything to offend the other person’? A familiar verse that supports this tip is Matthew 7:1-5. Christians are challenged to deal with the “log in your own eye” before you “take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” It is hypocritical to point out all the things your spouse, sibling, friend, or in-law did wrong if you won’t acknowledge your part in the problem.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Talk face-to-face and one-on-one. Whenever possible, go to the person and talk in private. Avoid venting to someone else. (Don’t fuss to your sister about your lazy husband or to your husband about your annoying coworker…you get the picture). Also avoid taking the issue to social media. I think we all know what can happen here. This is called “airing dirty laundry”, and it almost always turns out badly. In Matthew 18:15a, Jesus says, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone”. This was a verse I saw over and over when I was researching this topic. Matthew 18:15-17 was used often as the key verse to show biblical conflict management.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Find common ground. Focus on the relationship. If you can find something you have in common with that person, you’re much more likely to be able to cooperate, acknowledge the other person’s feelings, show that you care about that person, be honest about your feelings, and be respectful of the other person’s feelings . Ephesians 6:12 reminds us that our enemy isn’t flesh and blood but the spiritual forces of evil. Remember, the other person isn’t your enemy – Satan is, and he’s the one who wants the conflict to tear apart your relationship.

Listen. Let the other person talk, even if you’re the one who brought up the issue because you were hurt or wronged. After you explain what’s wrong, allow the other person to have his/her say, too. Sit quietly. Don’t plan your retort. Just listen. It’s ok to ask for clarification as the person is speaking – to repeat some of the things he/she said to be sure you understood – but leave some space for her otherwise. There may be some underlying issues you don’t know about or unspoken expectations or assumptions that have made the problem worse.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Focus on the main issue. It is very likely that other problems will surface while you’re trying to work this out. While those shouldn’t be ignored completely, they should be sidelined for the moment as you focus on the current situation. What offended you in the first place? If it was the fact that your husband doesn’t help with the dishes and cleaning the kitchen after dinner, you’ll have to table the issue of him not helping get the kids in the bed and come back to that later.

Forgive. Give grace. Did you know that God wants us to put our worship on hold and forgive someone we have a grudge against first. It’s THAT important. Matthew 5:23-24 says, “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” God wants us to come before Him with clean hearts – not hearts burdened with contempt over an offense or argument.

The next time you find yourself having a difference of opinion with someone, remember these tips. Take a moment to stop, pray, and ask for God’s guidance. Then, go to this person, and begin the conversation.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Think back to some recent conflicts you’ve had. Which of these tips did you use? Which ones didn’t you use? How did the use of these tips (or lack thereof) influence the way the conflict was handled?

Can you think of other helpful tips to share?

For more on the subject of biblical conflict management read When Your Feelings Are Hurt. Also, see What To Do If You Have a Critical Spirit.

I used the following resources in my research for this post:
9 Ways to Handle Conflict Biblically

Conflict Resolution

Experiencing Intercultural Communication 4th Edition

Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters 8th Edition

Sermon: Jesus’ Plan for Resolving Conflict – Matthew 5, 18

Tips and Tools for Healthy Conflict Resolution

What Happened When Our Family Followed God

June 1, 2018June 1, 2018 / hhooks / Leave a comment

What happens when you follow God? What happens when your whole family chooses to do it?

Here in the Hooks household, we’ve learned that when you step out in faith and do something God has called you to do, like our family did when I became a stay-at-home-mom, you experience God. When God asks you to leave something behind, and you do it, you will see how He can take care of you.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Our God Provides

Philippians 4:19 tells us, “my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”

In Matthew 6:26, the author says, “Look at the birds of the air. They do not sow, nor reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?”

Photo Credit: Pinterest

It’s nice to read these verses, but they’re simply inspirational words until you’ve experienced God’s provision. Once you have, you know it – you know that you’re worth more than the birds and that the Father will take care of you because you’ve seen Him do it.

In January 2010, when I told Bill I was being convicted by God to stay at home with Ethan, he flat out thought I had lost my mind. We prayed for peace for him, but it didn’t come.

He did the math, over and over, to compare our monthly bills to his monthly pay.

“It doesn’t work,” he confessed.

I was concerned but not defeated. I was sure this was what God was calling me to, so this was what I had to do.

We kept praying.

Finally, Bill said, “the numbers don’t add up, but if you say this is what God wants you to do, then we’ll do it.”

That step became part of our family’s story – part of our family’s testimony.

Our God Has Sovereign Control

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When something is a part of God’s plan, He.is.working…He’s already been working previously and in the background, orchestrating events that need to align for things to go according to His plan. Pieces will fall together here and there, but you might not see it until later.

God takes care of the needs of His people long before His people are even aware of the need.

Take the story of Joseph, for example, in Genesis chapters 37-50. God used Joseph to save the lives of many during a famine in Egypt.

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God, in His sovereignty, arranged the events in Joseph’s life – betrayal by his brothers and an unjust imprisonment, just to name a few – to place the man in a position to become second in command to Pharaoh just in time to lead Egypt through a terrible famine.

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God was in control then, and He’s in control now – in our family.

Bill had been hearing the name “Dave Ramsey” for years. A friend talked about reading his books and shared some of Ramsey’s financial advice. Then, Bill found The Dave Ramsey Show podcasts and began listening.

Since Bill is the financially-minded one of the two of us, he found Ramsey’s ideas intriguing but pushed them aside. He couldn’t fathom it being a reality for us since we would only have one full-time income. There wasn’t any way to get out of debt using Ramsey’s debt snowball method if there wasn’t any extra money after bills were paid…and the way it looked, there wouldn’t be any.

Over time, though, we started noticing how things were dropping away from our budget as we prepared to lose my full-time income.

We’d gotten “gazelle intense,” to borrow one of Ramsey’s favorite phrases: We cut cable, went to a different cellular carrier to save on phone bills, reduced car insurance by changing companies, refinanced the house to lower the mortgage, started using a monthly budget…anything we could think of to make wiggle room.

Suddenly, there WAS extra money in the budget at the end of each month. It wasn’t a lot, but it was there.

Bill borrowed his friend’s copy of Ramsey’s book The Total Money Makeover, and we read it together.

“We can do this,” he finally said. He’d been listening to people’s success stories on the podcast, too, so he was extra pumped.

So, we decided to give it a shot, and we began Baby Step 2 of Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover in August 2014, owing approximately $20,000 on a car, a set of Tempurpedic mattresses, and a student loan. Seven months later, we paid it all off – 7 months early on the car, 1 ½ years early on the mattresses, and years ahead of schedule on the student loan.

One of the most fascinating elements of this whole experience has been that we haven’t felt like we had to go without necessary things or struggle to pay our bills.

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Sure, we’ve sacrificed. We started living on a budget to see where we were spending money. There’s been a lot less eating out. Bill had to figure out how to watch ESPN without cable (that took him awhile, so he went without it completely for several months). I very rarely shop for new clothes.

But, we’re fine! God has provided the things we needed, and we’ve learned to be content without many of the “extras.”

Even when the numbers didn’t add up, we relied on God, and He has taken care of us.

He’ll take care of you, too. You can trust Him. With your finances. Your relationships. Your children’s education. Your job. Your health. Your house. Your important decisions. He’ll take care of you. He feeds the birds, AND He clothes the flowers, but He loves you even more than He loves them.

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(If you’d like to read more about God’s provision in times of need, see Donna’s story or Meggan’s story).

What does He want you to trust Him with right now? Is there a conviction you’ve been ignoring? A calling you’ve avoided? What’s holding you back?

Would you share some things you have trusted to God? How has He provided? Can you look back and see how He planned things out – pieces that fell together, events that coordinated?

My Life is About to Change

May 25, 2018October 12, 2018 / hhooks / 11 Comments

My life is about to change. In a BIG way.

Next year, both of my children will be in elementary school. That means, for the first time in 8 years, this mom will have no kids at home during the day.

Since May 2010, I’ve been a stay-at-home-mom. I taught online courses for several community colleges, and we had a second child in the fall of 2012, but for the most part, the kids and I have been hanging out at home. We could go to my bible study or story-time at the library or visit my mom who was keeping my nephews a few miles away at my sister’s house whenever we wanted.

Once Ethan started kindergarten, I had the freedom to take him to school every morning and meet the bus each afternoon. I could go eat lunch or chaperone his field trips, too. When Emery started preschool 3 days a week, I could volunteer at either of their schools. I also began teaching more online courses, started research for this blog, and took on more photography jobs.

Over the years a few of those things have dropped off: My online course load has slowly dwindled until I had no courses to teach this past spring semester. God began to show me that photography wasn’t my path right now, so I have backed away from that as well. Gone are the the things I envisioned myself doing after both kids were in school.

All of a sudden, I am left with little to no income of my own and the prospect of a lot more time on my hands come September when Emery starts kindergarten.

Bill’s expectation was that I’d go back to work once both kids were in school: to a Monday-Friday, 9-to-5-type job like I had before Ethan was born. While I have absolutely nothing against working outside the home, I have learned from past experience that I need to look to God about this decision. He has something prepared for me to do next.

So, we’ve been praying.

When I originally started seeking God about this, I gave Him my list of requirements for what I’d like to do in the future.

My prayers went something like this:

God,

You know I love the freedom to be readily available for my children – to take them to school and be home when they get off the bus. To eat lunch at school or volunteer there or go on field trips. So, when Emery goes to school, I’d like to continue with some kind of work-from-home stuff so I can continue being a mom the way I have been for the last 8 years. Ok? Thanks! Amen.

🙂

Well, if you’ve spent any time with God, you know this typically isn’t how prayer works. We don’t come to Him with a list of demands and then wait for those to be filled.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with praying for what you want…you may very well get it.

But, the thing is, our God is sovereign, meaning He is in total control. He knows how this is all going to end up, and He knows how he is going to get us to that point.

And {spoiler alert} it typically doesn’t look the way I think it should look. Have you discovered the same thing?

Will I get a full-time job working all day, 5 days a week outside the home? Will I work part-time? Will I get more work-from-home opportunities? Will the blog and my writing career take off? 😉

I have no idea.

I haven’t gotten a clear word from God yet.

And that’s sorta nerve-wracking to be honest.

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Right now, I’m between bible studies, so I don’t have anything specific to read when I have my quiet time with the Lord. During these periods, I usually ask God what He wants me to study, and He usually tells me a book of the Bible. Lately, I’ve been hearing Him say “Habakkuk.” That’s not a book of the Bible that you regularly think of – not like Genesis or Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John – so finally I decided I’d better listen. I turned to Habakkuk to start on it and found that I’d already read it at some point. I don’t remember doing it, but I had passages underlined and notes scrawled in the margins, so I have definitely been in that book already.

I started to ask what else I should read but then realized that He’d already told me Habakkuk, so there must be something there for me – something I missed the first time or something that I needed to hear right now that wasn’t relevant to me when I first read the book.

I began by rereading the ESV commentary that I like to use to go through each book verse by verse, and I went to the analysis in Eerdman’s Commentary on the Bible as well as rereading the notes I wrote in the margins.

What I recalled as I reread passages and verses and notes was that Habakkuk was frustrated and complaining to God about the terrible things he saw going on around him in Judah, asking God when He was going to bring justice to the wicked. In answer, God spoke to Habakkuk and sent him visions and a visit from the angel Gabriel to show Habakkuk what was going to happen.

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Well, big surprise, the justice God had planned didn’t meet with Habakkuk’s expectations, so he questioned God’s choices for handling the situation. (Sound familiar to you? Yep! It did to me, too. I was doing this very thing!)

Here’s what God showed me by having me reread Habakkuk: through conversations with God, Habakkuk was reminded that he could trust God. God wasn’t going about things the way Habakkuk thought God should. God wasn’t using the “appropriate” means according to the prophet. But, the man came to realize that he needed to be patient, that God knew what He was doing, and that His ways and His timing were best. In the top margin at the start of the chapter, I wrote, “Habakkuk theme = wait & trust in God. He works out all things for His glory,” and I knew why God had me in this book again.

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I needed to remember.

Trust God in times of change.

Trust God even when you don’t know what He’s doing.

Trust God when it doesn’t seem like He’s doing things the way you think they should be done.

That’s all we have to do, and there’s such freedom in that.

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Thank goodness for that reminder. Did you need that refresher as well?

What have you been asking God about? Has His answer been different than you’d hoped? Is God reminding you to trust Him even when things aren’t going your way?

What about those of you on the other side of the waiting? When have you had to trust God through a change in your life where you couldn’t tell what He was doing? How did things turn out in the end? Would you share? Hearing from people who have been in the same situation would certainly be helpful for those of us going through similar circumstances.

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This post is linked up at Grace and Truth Link Up

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My Life is About to Change