I am alone. It’s calm and quiet in the house. I’m standing still in the middle of the room. Yet my brain is swirling and my pulse is quickening and my eyes are widening.

What’s going on? I ask myself.

Whatever it is started small but quickly escalated to the point that my head might explode.

I quickly retrace my steps.

Oh…yes…thoughts about the day’s to-do list started this!

OK. Now I know what’s going on, and I know how to stop it.

I breathe. I speak Jesus’ name. I ask Him to remind me of the promises He made – that He loves me. That He will never leave me. That I can trust Him with all my problems and fears.

The thoughts racing around my brain begin to slow. My heart beat calms, and the muscles around my forehead and eyes relax.

I sit down and actually write out the to-do list. Calmly. Then I get up and move on with my day.

It took a while to realize what was happening when I worked myself into this frenzy. I don’t know how long I’ve dealt with it although I probably accepted the experience as a normal part of my life at some point.

But no more.

I realize the lie now, and I know what to do.

It was sometime in the last year that I really caught myself getting into this fixation over my daily tasks and analyzed where it was coming from.

This particular morning, it was barely 6 AM on a quiet, week-day morning in June, but I had already working myself into that familiar frenzy.

I began thinking of all I had to do and comparing it to the {perceived} available time in my day and convinced myself that I didn’t have time to do what I needed to do.

Before I knew it, I was standing still in the middle of the room but feeling pulled in 100 different directions.

Worrying over not being able to get everything done was keeping me from getting anything done!

On a previous such occasion, in the throes of that fray, God revealed to me that the frenzy and hopelessness I felt originated with Satan. God also showed me that I allowed it to continue to happen to me.

I allowed this pattern to emerge, for the father of lies to get this grip on my mind. But the truth is, he probably doesn’t have to do much anymore to get me going. He’s on auto pilot with me now. I do it for him.

I render myself useless.

Nothing will get checked off my list if I’m already telling myself that I don’t have time to check things off my list.

So, I told him to get away. I literally said, “get behind me, Satan, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. ”

Instantly, the weight clinched around my heart dropped away, the smog filling my head cleared, and I calmed down. Since that episode, I’ve gotten better and better at recognizing his schemes and banishing them faster each time. Just like I did that morning this past June.

In moments of weakness, I still let him get started on me. I begin listing my tasks and looking at the clock. Then the dread starts in my chest and tries to creep up my neck to make me clench my teeth.

Then I realize I’ve stepped too near the quicksand again, and I move before I get sucked down. Thankfully God revealed this lie to me. He revealed the scheme and made it clear that I played a role in perpetuating it.

Now, I can usually stop myself before it goes too far.

If there really is a lot to accomplish, I take a minute to write out all I need to do. Next I note the “due date” for each task. This helps me prioritize and get a clear picture of what needs my attention now and what can wait.

Then I get started.

It’s all a distraction, you see. Something to make me take my eyes off what’s really important. Just like last weekend when Satan tried to distract me from hearing God speak to me at a women’s retreat.

It’s the same with my to-do list. If the liar can get me bogged down in the list, I get frustrated. Frustration leads to anxiousness, and I’ll drown. I’ll be angry that I have too much to do and not enough time, and I’ll shake my fist and become angry at God. Meanwhile, Satan, the one who’s actually to blame, can sneak off while my back is turned and pounce on someone else and infect someone else’s mind with his lies.

I don’t want that to happen – to me or anyone else.

So, we have to talk with God. We have to listen to Him. We have to read His Word. We have to surround ourselves with other people who love Him and can point us toward His Truth.

And we have to do it now – the sooner the better.

Now, where’d I put that to-do list…