Author’s Note: All my sisters in Christ are Servant Girls, and we’ve all been given God’s stories to tell. I’m grateful to be able to write to you over the next couple of weeks about Meggan and her story. We met over breakfast and talked about 2 1/2 hours about how she met Jesus, how He changed her when she gave Him her heart, and how He is working in her family right now. It is my pleasure to introduce you to Meggan Love…
Where is God in the mundane? Where is He in tragedy? Where is He when you can’t decide whether to go down this road or that one? Simply put, He’s right where He’s always been – going before you, making a way for you. All you really have to do is whatever He says.
God began speaking to Meggan through her pastor at the church she attended with her parents when she was 6 years old. At the end of the sermon, the pastor asked for people to raise their hands if they wanted to accept Jesus into their hearts. For 6 months he asked, and for 6 months, Meggan raised her hand. Every time, her parents told her to put down her hand. They didn’t think she realized what the pastor was asking.
Finally, Meggan’s mom and dad asked if she really wanted to do what the preacher had asked, and she told them yes! He’d asked if she wanted Jesus in her heart, and she did! Appeased, her parents took her to talk with their pastor. Afterwards, 6 year old Meggan asked Jesus to come into her life, and she was baptized.
“It was childlike faith,” she told me, her tone matter-of-fact. “Obviously, I didn’t understand all the theology and eschatology, and all of that other stuff,” she smiled, gesturing in circles over her heard. “But, I knew He died for me, and He rose for me, and I wanted to go to heaven and be with Him.”
What drew Meggan to God, even as a 6 year old, was the overwhelming feeling of love. “He loved me enough to die for me,” Meggan emphasized. “I was very young, but I understood that important truth and that made me want to live for Him and serve Him.”
Even though Meggan was a small child when she made this decision, she distinctly remembers the change that occurred in her once she received the Holy Spirit. “Before I had the Holy Spirit, I was very selfish,” she confessed. “It was all about me, me, me! But once I gave my heart to Christ, I began experiencing strong conviction from the Holy Spirit. I’ve never been afraid to speak my mind,” she told me with a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth, “but having the Holy Spirit gave me confidence to speak up for Christ. For example, “she said, sitting up straighter at the table, “when I was in the 4th grade, I had a classmate who was Muslim. One day, he told me that he hated Jesus. ‘I don’t know why,’ I said back to him, ‘He loves you’!”
The Holy Spirit convicted Meggan to spend time studying the Bible, being alone with God and praying to Him. Peer pressure from friends was still a real struggle for her as was her desire to be selfish. She still made poor choices from time to time, as anyone would, but she was almost immediately convicted.
“I remember occasions where I would look at my friends and tell them that what we were considering doing was sin. That was because of the strength and power of the Holy Spirit living in me.”
In middle school, Meggan felt the tug on her heart to begin praying for her future husband! (This was actually something her parents had prayed for both Meggan and her brother years before. Her parents prayed that both their children would meet their spouses while they were young).
“I had 3 requirements,” Meggan said.
“For what your husband would be like?” I clarified.
“Yes,” she nodded once. “I asked God to send me a husband who was Southern, Christian, and who could make me laugh,” she counted on her fingers as she listed. “I prayed for them in that order, too!” She pointed out, her eyes wide. “Not really sure why it was so important for him to be Southern, but that was always first on my list.”
“Does Dane make you laugh?” I asked, a knowing smile passing between us. (We were in Life Group at FBCIT with Meggan and Dane for about 5 years).
Meggan rolled her eyes but blushed a little. “Oh yeah! He does!” She said emphatically. “Every day! He makes me crazy, but he definitely makes me laugh.”
Meggan and Dane’s relationship began in the 8th grade; they were 13. “I knew early on that he’d be my husband,” she confided. “But knowing that at such a young age, and loving him the way I already did scared me! So, I broke up with him the summer before 9th grade,” she said firmly. “I just wasn’t ready for all that. But,” she continued with a quick shrug of her shoulders, “we got back together in the middle of 10th grade and have been together since.”
Before they were married, Meggan was able to help lead Dane to Christ. Dane had been baptized, but he confessed to Meggan one day that altar calls made him uncomfortable. Meggan explained to him that the feeling of discomfort was God’s conviction. He wanted to draw Dane into a closer relationship. So, Dane and Meggan prayed together, and Dane asked God to be his Savior.
“Did Dane change after that?” I asked Meggan.
“Definitely,” she responded. “I saw him become much more passionate about Christ, for getting to know the Lord and learning about our faith. It actually spurred me into a deeper relationship, too.”
Dane and Meggan were married in 2007. God has continued to work in their lives both individually and as a couple. For Meggan, that means God is still working to change her heart in the area of expectations of others. She admits that nothing is ever good enough for her.
“It’s always been part of my sin nature,” she revealed. “I remember it when I was little. I’d get presents for my birthday but wonder why I didn’t get more or why this one thing I wanted was left out.
As an adult, specifically as a mother, this presents itself in another way. “I’ll come home from work or running errands when Dane has been at home with the girls, and as soon as I hit the door, I start listing everything that’s wrong…breakfast dishes are still on the table, the kitchen is a mess, the clean clothes haven’t been put into the dryer…” she trailed off, shaking her head. “It isn’t enough that he fed them and kept them alive while I was gone! I never point out the things he has done; I just focus on what I think is lacking. That thing from when I was little, it’s still there. It’s part of my sin nature. It’s getting better though. I feel conviction to see the positives and ignore the negatives, or I am convicted to take a step back before it goes too far and apologize to the person and repent to God. It’s just a work in progress. The older I get, the more I realize that our faith grows as we grow. That’s how it’s supposed to be. We go through seasons. It’s a race to run all the way to the finish, and it’s a cross-country run rather than a sprint. We just have to continue to let Him change our hearts.”
Currently, Meggan’s in the motherhood season of her life; she is mommy to 4 precious little girls: Joyce, Faith, Renzori, and Delaney. This is the race she is running today.
When she sat down across the table from me, before we began our interview for this post, she sighed, “I don’t know, Heather…Servant Girl? I just don’t feel like I am one. I’m just mommy right now. I’m just sitting around nursing my baby.” She gestured over to then 4-month-old Delaney, snoozing quietly in her carrier.
But, I know that God has given everyone a story, and I already knew a little about Meggan’s. I knew you needed to read it so you could see God as He has revealed Himself to Meggan.
She can tell you that God will be with you at your lowest point. There may be a fleeting thought that He’s deserted you, but then you have those quiet moments, like when it’s 3 in the morning and you’re up changing diapers and nursing your newborn, and life “circles back” as Meggan put it, and you see what He was doing in the midst of your pain and suffering.
Now that she’s had time to look back, Meggan can see that God was with her even in that specific moment, about 5 years ago, when He clearly told her something to do, and she said no. “I literally stomped my foot, and said no!” She told me, shaking her head at her own audacity.
But God was still with her.
What did God ask of Meggan that caused such a defiant response? Join me back here next week for Part 2 of Meggan’s story, and I’ll tell you.