A #parentingfail – Part 3

April 12, 2018April 12, 2018 / hhooks / 1 Comment

Ethan was sitting in the backseat of the car listing his favorite songs that play on K-Love, the Christian radio station we play. Then, Hillsong United’s “So Will I” came on, and he quickly added, “ Oh, I like this one, too.” Bill and I looked at each other and grinned, thankful that he is listening to, learning to sing, and appreciating music that glorifies God.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

It reminded me that he’s a good kid – he’s not perfect, no one is – but he’s got a good heart (and he loves the Lord, thank goodness).

Why is it so difficult, then, to be his mommy? Why do I lose my temper with him so often?

In “A #parentingfail – Part 1”, I explained how I struggle with my temper when dealing with difficult situations with my children. Then, in “A #parentingfail – Part 2”, I shared how God revealed that He wasn’t going to take away my temper problem.

Today, I want to explore what I have learned so far on my 9-year parenthood journey. The lessons have come from trial-and-error, tears, arguments, seeking advice from other moms, reading parenting articles, and just good ol’ experience.

Ethan, Emery, and I pose together on our vacation last summer (2017).

I’m not professing to be an expert…the last few posts have shown quite the contrary. Despite this fact, I know I have learned some valuable lessons along the way, and I want to pass along some of these tidbits.

Granted, it is still difficult to act on what I know when I’m in the throws of dealing with disobedience or tantrums. That being said, here’s what parenthood has taught me so far:

Stay Calm – I know, I know…start off with a difficult one, but if you can stay calm, you could keep the situation from escalating.
Photo Credit: Pinterest
Walk Away – It’s ok to admit you need a minute when you feel yourself losing it.
Get on Their Level – Rather than towering over them and literally talking down to them, sit or kneel so you can look them in the eye.
Give Choices – When possible, allow them to choose or at least couch their responsibilities as a choice. Ask, “Do you want to brush your teeth or make your bed first?” Sometimes I ask this during the “Get Ready for School” routine in the morning. Ultimately, they’ll have to do both but making it seem like they have choices sometimes helps things go more smoothly.
Don’t Hover – My kids do better, whether on their own or playing with others, when I am not standing over them waiting to correct every mistake they make.
Relax Your Need for Control – Looking back, I can see that many of the blowups I’ve had with my kids were because I insisted on having something done the way I wanted it, when I wanted it. Now, I try to ask myself if I must have it done my way or if I can give them the chance to do it their way.
Shut-up – I’m pretty sure that God has said this to me a few times – almost audibly. I don’t have to have the last word. I may not even have to have a word at all. Sometimes I should just shut up.
Be specific, simple & direct with instructions – This is especially helpful when the kids are younger. Don’t give a long list of complicated steps and details. Give one step at a time, wait for that to be done, and then give the next step.
Be positive – Look for the things they are doing well, and give compliments. Also, try to have a more positive mindset about your children overall. Once you view them negatively (because of their behavior, for example) it is difficult to redirect yourself to have a positive outlook. If you find yourself thinking more negative then positive thoughts, think of 3 good things about your child. Write them down if you want. List more than 3 – as many as you can, in fact. This simple exercise will help refocus your mind on the wonderful things about your children. (And keeps Satan from stealing your joy…I’ll talk about that next week).

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Be present/Put down your phone – You could also say turn off the television, get away from the computer, or put down the tablet. We need to look at our children, talk to them, listen to them, play what they want to play, allow them to help when they want, and focus on them when they need our attention.
Be consistent – (Insert eye roll here, especially if you read Part 1 and feel my pain). You may have to keep it up for five years before you see the fruits of your labor, but it is important to stick to your guns. Ethan is 9, and over the past 4 years or so, we have started to notice him doing things, unprompted, that we had been trying to teach him for years! HALLELUJAH!

For the sake of keeping my posts as brief as possible, I’ll stop there and finish sharing the list next week. I’ve saved the most important one for last, so you’ll have to come back 😉 Also, I’m going to reveal my first guest blogger who’ll write for you the last week in April. You don’t want to miss the announcement!!!

P.S. Here’s “So Will I” – one of Ethan’s favorite songs 🙂

Coincidence or Christ?

March 23, 2018March 22, 2018 / hhooks / 2 Comments

What do you make of events in your life – of one thing causing another or of one thing happening at the “perfect time?” Do occurrences happen merely by chance or is God’s sovereign hand putting together the pieces of the puzzle?

For the longest time I was a skeptic about such matters. I didn’t believe in Jesus for about 10 years so naturally I wouldn’t see His hand in things. I was more in the “coincidence camp”. Only recently have I started to see that God does have a sovereign hand, and He can orchestrate details and events days, weeks, months, or even years before they actually happen and have them come out the way He wants them to come out for the purpose that He has in mind.

God does not do things by coincidence.jpg

Photo Credit: Pinterest

I heard one such story this past Sunday morning. It’s the kind of story I would have brushed off as serendipity in the past. If I had heard someone share it 10 years ago, I would have rolled my eyes, especially if that person tried to say that God made it happen the way it did. But this past Sunday morning when I heard the story, I never doubted God’s involvement for a second.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

The FBCIT choir was practicing just before we went into the loft for the 9:30 service. Our director, Matthew Slemp, said he had a story to tell us – the story of a man who attended our church and who had a song request for the choir. During the week, the man had gotten word to Matthew that he would really appreciate it if the choir could fill his request during the coming Sunday service.

Click here to read the blog post about how we started attending FBCIT.

Some representatives from the church went to visit him and ask his request. He explained that his daughter was not a believer but would be at church with the family on Sunday morning. The man asked if the choir could possibly sing a song that we have sung in the past called “Lord,You’re Holy.”. When the request got back to Matthew, he could hardly believe his ears. This was the song that was already on the schedule for Sunday morning! 12 weeks ago when the service and the music selections were being prayed over this song was chosen. So this past Sunday morning this is what our choir sang.

This recording was not made this past Sunday but during another worship service in the past. Mrs. Jessie Chavis is the soloist.

Click here to watch our choir sing “Lord, You’re Holy”

I haven’t heard whether the young lady actually came to church and heard the song. I don’t know if it had the influence her father (and our choir) had prayed it would. Like I mentioned in last week’s post, little things/BIG THINGS, we may never know the outcome of the things we do – whether the young lady was influenced by the song or not – but we still do whatever we are called to do.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Are you in the “coincidence camp” or the “Christ’s Sovereign Hand camp? If you see God’s influence, what events have you known Him to orchestrate either in your life or someone else’s? Please share those experiences here.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

little things/BIG THINGS

March 16, 2018March 15, 2018 / hhooks / 3 Comments

What are some “little things” people have done for you that ended up making a big impact in your life? It could have been something your parents did when you were a child or a teacher did when you were in school. It might be something a co-worker or a neighbor or a complete stranger did. It doesn’t matter who did it; it just matters that it was something relatively small: it didn’t cost much money or take up a lot of time or warrant a great deal of planning. It was just something… little.

Have you ever done something fairly minuscule for someone else and found out in the end that it had become a significant occurrence in that person’s day, week, year, or entire life?!

Photo Credit: Pinterest

When we are the giver of the small thing, we don’t always get to see its influence; we may never know how or if it meant anything to that person at all…and that can be frustrating.

When my son Ethan started preschool, I began putting notes in his lunch box. When he was too young to read, I drew pictures or wrote simple things he could figure out on his own.

I might write “You are my” and draw a picture of a sunshine or write “I Love You” Photo Credit: Pinterest

As he got older and learned to read, I would write messages to inspire him or remind him that he was loved. I might write, “Ethan, remember that you are a child of the King,” or “Remember to smile at someone today,” or “You are my #1 boy.”

At some point, we realized he liked jokes, so I pinned a bunch of jokes onto a Pinterest board and would include one of those on occasion. (Currently, about 95% of his notes are jokes). Sometimes, I write the note to Ethan but prompt him to tell the joke to someone else – another kid in his class or even his teacher. On the front of the paper, I might write, “Ethan, ask Nathan if he knows how bees get to school?” Then, on the back, I write the answer: On the school buzzzzz.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Every once in a while, I’d ask him about the message or the joke on the note. Many times, he’d say he didn’t remember. Occasionally, he’d admit that he hadn’t even looked at it. 😦

I was getting fed up, honestly. It wasn’t that it took a long time to write the note (and if I was smart, I would have written it the night before, but I’m not that smart), but it was another task to check off the list as I was ushering the kids toward the door each morning with book bags in tow. To be met each afternoon with “I don’t know” or “I didn’t look at it” when I asked about the note was just too much.

After a while, I made up my mind that I was going to stop doing it. If he didn’t care enough to read it, I certainly wasn’t going to waste the 5 minutes or less it took me to do it each morning. I could devote that time to more yelling about putting on shoes and finding coats 🙂

Then I went to school and ate lunch with him one day.

I was NOT expecting what happened the moment he sat down and unzipped his lunch box. Immediately, several hands shot across the table attempting to be the first to snatch the little blue Post-it note from the jumble of plastic food containers.

I watched in awe as first one friend and then another read the joke and passed it down. Kids all over the table were asking to read the joke! (I have found out since then that his 1st grade teacher will still stop by the table and ask to read the joke if she is in the cafeteria when his third grade class comes in)!

I was flabbergasted! My eyes teared up! Here, I thought that he didn’t care about the note! I was going to stop writing one! However, it seemed to be a big deal for his classmates and for him. Plus, it put a HUGE grin on his face! I looked over at him as the joke was being passed around; kids were reading it aloud, snickering, and passing it onto the next person asking to read it, and he was beaming! His smile was so big that his cheeks had squished his eyes into slits (although it isn’t hard for his cheeks to squish his eyes when he smiles. He has my smile, bless his heart, and even a very small smile renders our eyes almost nonexistent).

In that moment, I decided that I would write a joke for his lunch box every day if I accomplished nothing else.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

I was blessed to see the fruit of this small gesture – how it impacted my son and his classmates. Now, there is no way I’ll stop doing it…well, that isn’t true. He may ask me to stop when he gets older and becomes embarrassed about such things, and I guess then I’ll do what he wants, but until then, I am writing the note!

Every once in a while, I still slip in a little inspirational message. I figure I’ll get one or two kids before they figure out it isn’t a joke. And maybe that first kid who snatches the note and reads even something so simple as, “Jesus Loves YOU” will be affected by that – maybe not in that moment but someday, somehow.

What is something small someone has done for you? Have you told that person how much you appreciate the gesture, the gift, the kind words? Do it! It will only take a moment, but it is so pleasant to know that what you’re doing matters.

What is something small you do for someone else? Does it seem that your efforts don’t matter? Do you think about throwing up your hands in defeat? Reconsider! You may never know the impact that small something is having on the recipient or even a bystander, but keep it up.

Most of the time the blessing of giving falls more on the giver anyway.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

When Your Feelings Are Hurt

March 8, 2018March 12, 2021 / hhooks / 4 Comments

My feelings were hurt the other day. Yes, it was a petty thing that upset me, but I was momentarily wounded none-the-less. Right away, Satan started in with the lies he likes to use with me in similar situations.

“See. You don’t really have any friends.”

“No one really likes you.”

“It’s because you aren’t friendly.”

“You’re forgettable.”

“Why do you even bother?”

All these thoughts flooded my mind within about 2.5 seconds of the alleged offense.

Truth be told, Satan has been pulling this particular trick with me for so long, I don’t think he actually has to do anything anymore; I do it to myself. I start listing the lies for him. I am doing Satan’s job.

And honestly, that isn’t something I want to do.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

So this time, before I wallowed in it and let it fester and infect my entire day, I stopped myself. First, I told myself I was likely reading into the situation things that were not true. Nothing was done purposefully.

I remind my children of this constantly when they come to me bringing the latest complaint about who broke a beloved toy or who threw away a favorite drawing or who made a mean face at whom. I typically ask them not to assume the worst in others.

“Don’t immediately think your sister did that on purpose…”

Photo Credit: Pinterest

I bet I’ve said that to my son a trillion times if I’ve said it once.

If the lesson is good enough for them, and I truly believe it has merit, then it is good enough for me, as well. So, I told myself that this time. “Don’t automatically assume this was meant to hurt you. More than likely it has nothing to do with you at all.”

Taking into account that there were likely no cruel intentions involved did slow my racing heart, but my flesh still wanted a pity party.

I wanted to text my husband or call my mom or my sister. I needed someone to be outraged and demand, “How dare they!” I just wanted someone on my side. That would make me feel better.

However, I thought back to a graphic I saw on Facebook not two weeks ago. It explained the very situation I was facing at the moment. It showed two paths I could take in response to the supposed transgression against me: God’s way or the world’s way. I knew I had to choose God’s way.

I saw this graphic in my Facebook feed a few weeks ago. I have no idea who created it originally, but I am not the author.

I didn’t want to. I wanted to run, headlong, down the slippery slope of the left side. I wanted to “tell people all about it.” That would be delicious! That would satisfy my flesh and give me the pity I wanted so badly. But I knew, looking at that right column, that this was the way to go; it was God’s way, and it was the best way.

A better perspective was needed. Peace was what my soul desired even more than pity. I just needed to be with God for a little while.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Instead of clutching my phone and feverishly blabbing how upset I was, I clung to my Bible.

“Lord, please show me what to do. My feelings are hurt. I feel like I don’t have any friends. What do I do?” I asked aloud.

This was part of my answer:

Ephesians 4:32 – Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Colossians 3:13 – Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

James 1:19 – Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Hebrews 12:15 – See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.

Colossians 3:17 – And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks go God the Father through him.

There were other messages that I found, too. There were plenty of verses about how much God loves me, that He created me in His image, that He has a purpose for my life, that He will fight for me and take care of me, that He will never leave me, and on and on.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Interestingly enough, what this became was a snippet of time alone with God. As I was reading through the different verses I found, I began to praise Him and worship Him.

When you read about how much He loves you, you can’t help but do so!

Before I knew it, what had hurt my feelings just a few minutes prior was the furthest thought from my mind. I wasn’t upset at the people involved. Satan was no longer telling me I was unlikable. God and I were having a peaceful praise party with Him as the focus.

Gone was my desire to blubber to my sister and hope she would jump on the sinking ship with me. I was just thankful. My joy was back because I had chosen to reclaim it by focusing on God and what He would want me to do in the situation rather than what I felt like doing.

I have to stop here and say that I don’t choose this path every time. I don’t always choose joy. Sometimes, I choose to flop right on down in that slimy, sticky self-pity filth hole and throw a little tantrum for a while. Just get covered head-to-toe in that muck. Sometimes, I choose to let whatever happened ruin my whole day. Sometimes I tell someone what upset me. I relive the circumstances over and over, becoming more insulted each time I rehash the incident.

And it feels fabulously…horrible. It just feels horrible. It feels like my heart is all covered in yellow pus, and I am suffocating.

It truly isn’t what God wants for me or for anyone in that situation – especially when the insult probably wasn’t legitimate at the outset (Legitimate offenses warrant a totally different blog post…for another day).

Photo Credit: Pinterest

The next time someone steps on my toes, I challenge myself to talk to God about it.

The next time someone steps on your toes, I challenge you to talk to God about it.

First, remind yourself not to jump to conclusions; don’t immediately assume this was meant on purpose to hurt you. Don’t immediately assume the worst.

Then, find your Bible. Sit down and open it on your lap (or pull up your Bible app on your phone, but no texting or calling people to talk about what happened 🙂 ) Look up some of the verses listed above or find your own verses about dealing with hurt feelings or wrongs from others.

Next, ask God what to do. Tell Him you’re hurting – that something happened that hurt your feelings – and ask Him what to do.

Sit quietly and wait to hear what He has to say.

I’ll try to do the same.

What do you typically do in response to someone hurting your feelings? What is the outcome of the situation? Have you learned any positive or Christ-like ways to deal with such offenses? Please share those here.

Portrait of a Servant Girl – Meggan’s Story Part 3

March 2, 2018April 18, 2018 / hhooks / 10 Comments

{If you’ve missed the past few weeks, please read Part 1 and Part 2 of Meggan’s story first then join me back here}.

Meggan flew home late in the summer of 2013 totally defeated. Despite her best efforts, she had come back without Joyce. But, attention had to turn to Faith and the baby she’d deliver soon, so she jumped back into life at home.

On October 22, 2013, Rwenzori Grace was born.

Renzori is born! (Image used courtesy of Meggan Love)

While the couple adjusted to their new roles as parents, they also refocused on Joyce. A lawyer was hired (pro bono) to investigate the case further and try to get the facts straightened out.

For about 6 months, the Loves worked with their lawyer and the U.S. Embassy in Uganda to collect the information the Embassy required.

In February 2014, Dane sojourned again in Uganda: 1 week on a mission trip and less than a week finishing the adoption process for Joyce.

Meggan waited out the time at home with her two babies.

Meggan’s “Uganda Journal” contained scriptures she prayed specifically for their daughters and their trips to and from the country. 2 Corinthians 1: 3-7 was particularly comforting while Dane was gone. Photo Credit: Pinterest

March 1, 2014, Dane and Joyce were met by a hoard of friends and family when they arrived at the airport in Charlotte. The ordeal was over.

Dane and Joyce at the airport on Joyce’s Gotcha Day (Image used courtesy of Meggan Love)

All of a sudden, the Loves were a family of 5!

At the airport (Image used courtesy of Meggan Love)

Life fell into a new normal. Joyce tested and started elementary school. Dane and Meggan worked out childcare for the two younger girls for the times when both parents would be at work, and time pushed forward as it is prone to do.

Now, just because it was God-ordained doesn’t mean it will be easy, and it most certainly hasn’t been. There have been difficult times, many with Joyce as she struggled to learn that she could trust Dane and Meggan. There have been tests of authority. There has been a lot of yelling and some dishes thrown. They’re a lot like any other family now that all the paperwork has been signed.

After we talked through the 3 trips to Uganda and the 2 adoptions, I asked Meggan what all this had taught her about God.

“He is the Giver of grace. He is merciful and loving. He is sovereign,” she listed confidently. “People have trouble with the sovereignty part a lot of the time, but He is, like it or not. It really is something to wrap your head around. When you’re in the midst of something difficult, you have to tell yourself that He has the power to change it, but He might not. He didn’t do this to punish me or hurt me, but He did allow it.” She paused a minute staring past me at nothing. “He knows better than me. He can see the end, and I can’t.” She looked at me. “I had a third miscarriage. Last September.”

That would have been September 2016. I had no idea! I felt my eyes smart and that achy feeling you get in the back of your throat right before you cry. But, looking at Meggan’s face made me stop. Her eyes were mournful, but there were no tears. What I saw was more a somber resoluteness. This was just another part of the plan. She didn’t have to like it, but it was another chapter in the story of her life. It was beyond her control.

“We went in for the ultrasound at 6 weeks of pregnancy, and the heartbeat was low, but it wasn’t terribly concerning yet. So, we went home and prayed that whole week. When we went back, there was no heartbeat at all. We could see the baby on the monitor, but the doctor was talking about medication I could take or surgery I could have. I asked if we could wait another week. My body had done this two other times,” she explained. “I didn’t need medicine or a DNC. My body just did everything naturally. So, we went home for another week and prayed”.

“When I talked to God that week,” she continued, “I said, ‘God, if you take this baby, help me to still love you – to be ok. To move past it and realize you have a plan, and it’s better than my plan’.”

After another agonizing two weeks, they went back and had a third ultrasound.

During the scan, the ultrasound tech asked, “Why are you having this ultrasound? There is nothing left but debris.” Her tone was harsh.

Dane and Meggan held it together long enough to get out of the stifling exam room.

Once they got with Meggan’s doctor, who confirmed that there was no life, Meggan agreed to take the medication to help her body finish what it had already started.

She had to take 2 rounds to have it do its job.

In the end, it made her the sickest she’d ever been.

“I wasn’t mad this time,” Meggan slowly shook her head. “I just accepted that He knew what He was doing. I knew I’d be alright with it.”

This kind of response comes from years of praying, countless hours of studying God’s Word, and a trusting, loving relationship with her Heavenly Father.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

{Note: Dane and Meggan welcomed their 4th daughter, their second biological child, Delaney Jo, this past September – one year after enduring their third miscarriage.}

(Image used courtesy of Meggan Love)

In the beginning of our interview, Meggan confessed that she’d hesitated to agree to come. She didn’t feel like a Servant Girl. She was just a mom – helping with homework, cooking meals, changing diapers, refereeing arguments…but after reading about these chapters that God has written so far, you have to see that she is so much more, and her story is so much more. This is the story of how Meggan, her husband, and their family have walked by faith with their Father.

They’ve been through some monumental struggles, but right now, they’re in the midst of being mommy and daddy. However, the things they’re doing now are no more or less important than the plane trips, the embassy visits, the lawyer’s fees…the tears.

Now, their monumental task is to raise their daughters to know Jesus Christ! That is a God-given job, isn’t it!? A job that can only be accomplished with God’s help, too, right? (I feel like a rousing ‘AMEN’ ought to go right there!)

Photo Credit: Pinterest

“The 5 loads of laundry and the snotty noses – that’s what the Lord has me doing now,” Meggan insisted, maybe still working to convince herself that God could even be found in the day-to-day tasks that can become so monotonous. “Sometimes you just wait, right?!”

That seems to be the crux of what she and Dane have learned so far: when you walk with the Lord, there are times to wait, but do so in prayer, trusting that God is working things out for the good of His children.

Wait. Pray. Trust.

The Love Family Fall 2017 (Image used courtesy of Meggan Love)

Read more of The Love’s story in Meggan’s own words through her blog – AdoptLoveUganda

Portrait of a Servant Girl – Meggan’s Story Part 2

February 23, 2018April 18, 2018 / hhooks / 3 Comments

“And that’s how you have three kids in a year and a half!” Meggan grinned and slapped the table with the palm of her hand. “I didn’t do it gracefully, but boy did I learn, AND I don’t argue with Him anymore,” she emphasized. “We are still a work in progress,” she continued. “It is as imperfect as imperfect can be.”

The year and a half Meggan was referring to was from roughly December 2012 to March 2014. During this time, she and Dane would adopt two daughters from Uganda, endure two miscarriages, and give birth to a biological daughter.

Consequently, it was also during this time that Meggan told God no when He clearly told her what He had for her to do.

“I literally stomped my foot and said no!” She declared. It happened as they were in the midst of adopting their first daughter, Faith…but let’s back up a bit more first.

In October 2011, Dane and Meggan decided – next year, it’s baby time!

“We didn’t care if it was biological, through adoption, or both. Dane’s mom was adopted, so it was always in the plan for us to adopt anyway, especially once we got into missions,” Meggan explained.

While on one such mission trip to Uganda in January 2012, the couple realized that God had international adoption planned for them.

“We came together immediately on this,” Meggan reported.

Through friends, the found out about the HOPE Center, an orphanage in Uganda run by an American family.

“We started talking to Angie online, and that’s how we found Faith Hope – a newborn who was at the HOPE. Center and needed a family. We knew she was our daughter, so we began the process of getting everything together,” Meggan relayed the events to me. You see, Dane and Meggan’s last name is Love, so Faith’s name would be Faith Hope Love! (She even has her own Bible verse). It was immediately obvious to the couple that they were meant to adopt Faith.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

It was May 2012, and as they were making this decision, Meggan also had a positive pregnancy test. They happily thought, ‘We’ll have two babies at one time!’

However, Meggan had a miscarriage within two weeks; the doctors called this a “chemical pregnancy.”

Shortly before leaving for Uganda to bring home Faith late in 2012, Meggan and Dane again found out they were pregnant. They had an ultrasound and saw the baby and a strong heartbeat. Again, they had hope that they would adopt AND have a biological baby. They were exhilarated.

At this time, Angie also showed them a picture of another girl named Joyce.

“Angie wanted us to adopt Joyce, too! But she told us Joyce was 5, and I could tell by her picture that she was older than 5!” Meggan said. “I told her I would pray about it, but I didn’t. Then, I told her no,” Meggan admitted.

This made it a bit difficult when they arrived at the HOPE Center in Uganda. Angie continued to try to persuade them to adopt Joyce as well. “I kept thinking, ‘I’ve never been a mom before! I’m about to take home an infant and then have another shortly after! That’s all I can handle right now…’ So, I kept saying no,” Meggan shrugged her shoulder.

The day Meggan and Dane saw Faith for the first time, they were also introduced to Joyce. “The moment I saw her, God told me she was going to be our daughter. But I was still defiant. I stomped my foot and said no!”

Everything was going as smoothly as it could with the adoption processor Faith, and Dane and Meggan were looking forward to going home soon with their daughter when Meggan went into preterm labor and suffered another miscarriage.

“It was devastating,” Meggan said flatly. “Here I thought I’d show up at the airport with Faith AND a baby bump, but that wasn’t going to happen.”

And there was still the prodding to adopt Joyce as well.

‘It’s funny,” Meggan paused. “I was saying no and stomping my foot and all that, but I knew Joyce was going to be our daughter, too.”

After experiencing the miscarriage, they almost decided in Uganda to adopt Joyce at the same time they adopted Faith, but the Lord convicted Meggan. “He told me, ‘you did not pray about this. This is emotional. It’s quick. You didn’t seek wise counsel.’ Dane was frustrated; he was ready to take Joyce home, too, but I said no. I wanted to go home with Faith. I needed to heal physically and emotionally from the miscarriage,” she said, her eyes on the table.

So, they finished the process to adopt Faith, got on the plane, and came home. It was December 1, 2012, and Faith was their first daughter.

Dane and Meggan with Faith Hope Love!!! (Image used courtesy of Meggan Love)

Just a month later, January 2013, Dane and Meggan found themselves cleaning out a room in their home they’d previously used as an office. “Let’s just go ahead and say what we’re doing this for,” Dane challenged Meggan. It was as if he were reading her mind. “We’re turning this into a room for Joyce.”

“This is for a Joyce,” Meggan agreed without hesitation. By this point, they’d prayed about another adoption. They’d spoken with wise, godly friends. And they knew it was time to move forward to bring Joyce home.

Two weeks later, they found out they were pregnant.

At the end of June the same year, the couple set off again for Uganda.

However, this trip was much different. From the moment they got out of their car at the airport, everything went wrong:

The departure time for the first leg of their flight, Charlotte to Chicago, was bumped up, and they only have 30 minutes to get to the terminal.
During the flight, the pilot came over the intercom and told them they were nearly out of fuel and would be diverted to Detroit to refuel.
When they finally got into Chicago air space, they had to circle from 30 minutes before they could land.
They missed their connecting flight.
During the extended layover in Chicago, they got into a cab with an Egyptian driver. They told him their story as they drove around. “I hope you don’t end up with a layover in Egypt since with the revolt going on,” he warned.
Their new flight plan took them to Egypt. During the layover, airport staff asked if they’d like to secure temporary visas so they could sight-see. “I would have loved to see some pyramids,” Meggan admitted, “but we told them no thanks.”
They eventually got to Uganda, but their checked luggage didn’t. They were without it for 2 weeks. (Remember, Meggan was pregnant…she had packed lots of snacks in her checked luggage).
Once they got to the HOPE Center, they learned that their first court date had been pushed back a week. No one had told them.

Things didn’t improve once the process finally got started. Nothing went as planned. Meetings didn’t happen when they were scheduled. Paperwork was not ready on time. There was one misstep, rescheduled meeting, and late form after another.

“I finally gave up,” Meggan threw her hands up in the air, a look of defeat on her face as she remembered the circumvention they endured. “I told God, ‘This isn’t going according to my plan! All my organization and planning is out the window. I.Am.Done’!”

Then, Dane had to go home.

He’d been there 3 weeks and used all the vacation he had.

“I was there another 4 and a half weeks by myself,” Meggan told me. “I was also in my third trimester of pregnancy. In Uganda by myself. Trying to finish everything and get Joyce and go home.”

Meggan and Joyce in Uganda (Image used courtesy of Meggan Love)

Trying to complete the adoption process was…in a word, arduous. At what was to be the last meeting – the exit interview with the U.S. Embassy – Meggan was questioned by the consulate. She was completely honest – even about the misinformation uncovered in Joyce’s file.

When it came time for Joyce’s parents to go before the Embassy consulate, they were not truthful. Their story contradicted Meggan’s. Somehow, they thought they were being helpful.

In the end, the adoption was denied since the information on both sides was incongruent.

“They told me that Joyce wasn’t going to be leaving with me. They denied her visa.” Meggan said somberly. Her shoulder slumped. She was there again, standing in that room with the consulate.

“I ugly-cried,” she looked straight at me, her eyes glistening. “In front of everybody in the Embassy. I was 7 months pregnant. I was worried about the baby because my emotions were all over the place. I was by myself. The trip had been hectic to begin with, and then they denied Joyce’s visa! I left that place bawling my eyes out. I asked God what in the world was going on! ‘I’m doing what you want and you’re still making me wait!’ I told Him. I was totally distraught,” she declared.

“I had to leave Joyce,” Meggan’s face was flat. “I tried to tell her that we’d come back for her, but she didn’t understand.”

It was late in the summer of 2013 as Meggan got back on a plane and came home. This time, she had a baby bump but no daughter.

Photo Credits: Pinterest

Meggan’s story concludes next week. God’s still working, so please join us again next week.

Portrait of a Servant Girl – Meggan’s Story – Part 1

February 15, 2018March 10, 2021 / hhooks / 2 Comments

Author’s Note: All my sisters in Christ are Servant Girls, and we’ve all been given God’s stories to tell. I’m grateful to be able to write to you over the next couple of weeks about Meggan and her story. We met over breakfast and talked about 2 1/2 hours about how she met Jesus, how He changed her when she gave Him her heart, and how He is working in her family right now. It is my pleasure to introduce you to Meggan Love…

Where is God in the mundane? Where is He in tragedy? Where is He when you can’t decide whether to go down this road or that one? Simply put, He’s right where He’s always been – going before you, making a way for you. All you really have to do is whatever He says.

God began speaking to Meggan through her pastor at the church she attended with her parents when she was 6 years old. At the end of the sermon, the pastor asked for people to raise their hands if they wanted to accept Jesus into their hearts. For 6 months he asked, and for 6 months, Meggan raised her hand. Every time, her parents told her to put down her hand. They didn’t think she realized what the pastor was asking.

Finally, Meggan’s mom and dad asked if she really wanted to do what the preacher had asked, and she told them yes! He’d asked if she wanted Jesus in her heart, and she did! Appeased, her parents took her to talk with their pastor. Afterwards, 6 year old Meggan asked Jesus to come into her life, and she was baptized.

Meggan, age 6, about the time she received God’s salvation and was baptized. Image used courtesy of Meggan Love.

“It was childlike faith,” she told me, her tone matter-of-fact. “Obviously, I didn’t understand all the theology and eschatology, and all of that other stuff,” she smiled, gesturing in circles over her heard. “But, I knew He died for me, and He rose for me, and I wanted to go to heaven and be with Him.”

What drew Meggan to God, even as a 6 year old, was the overwhelming feeling of love. “He loved me enough to die for me,” Meggan emphasized. “I was very young, but I understood that important truth and that made me want to live for Him and serve Him.”

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Even though Meggan was a small child when she made this decision, she distinctly remembers the change that occurred in her once she received the Holy Spirit. “Before I had the Holy Spirit, I was very selfish,” she confessed. “It was all about me, me, me! But once I gave my heart to Christ, I began experiencing strong conviction from the Holy Spirit. I’ve never been afraid to speak my mind,” she told me with a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth, “but having the Holy Spirit gave me confidence to speak up for Christ. For example, “she said, sitting up straighter at the table, “when I was in the 4th grade, I had a classmate who was Muslim. One day, he told me that he hated Jesus. ‘I don’t know why,’ I said back to him, ‘He loves you’!”

The Holy Spirit convicted Meggan to spend time studying the Bible, being alone with God and praying to Him. Peer pressure from friends was still a real struggle for her as was her desire to be selfish. She still made poor choices from time to time, as anyone would, but she was almost immediately convicted.

“I remember occasions where I would look at my friends and tell them that what we were considering doing was sin. That was because of the strength and power of the Holy Spirit living in me.”

In middle school, Meggan felt the tug on her heart to begin praying for her future husband! (This was actually something her parents had prayed for both Meggan and her brother years before. Her parents prayed that both their children would meet their spouses while they were young).

Photo Credit: Pinterest

“I had 3 requirements,” Meggan said.

“For what your husband would be like?” I clarified.

“Yes,” she nodded once. “I asked God to send me a husband who was Southern, Christian, and who could make me laugh,” she counted on her fingers as she listed. “I prayed for them in that order, too!” She pointed out, her eyes wide. “Not really sure why it was so important for him to be Southern, but that was always first on my list.”

“Does Dane make you laugh?” I asked, a knowing smile passing between us. (We were in Life Group at FBCIT with Meggan and Dane for about 5 years).

Meggan rolled her eyes but blushed a little. “Oh yeah! He does!” She said emphatically. “Every day! He makes me crazy, but he definitely makes me laugh.”

Meggan and Dane’s relationship began in the 8th grade; they were 13. “I knew early on that he’d be my husband,” she confided. “But knowing that at such a young age, and loving him the way I already did scared me! So, I broke up with him the summer before 9th grade,” she said firmly. “I just wasn’t ready for all that. But,” she continued with a quick shrug of her shoulders, “we got back together in the middle of 10th grade and have been together since.”

Dane and Meggan before the 10th grade winter formal – 2002. They had just begun dating again. Image used courtesy of Meggan Love.

Dane and Meggan at their high school graduation – 2004. Image used courtesy of Meggan Love.

Before they were married, Meggan was able to help lead Dane to Christ. Dane had been baptized, but he confessed to Meggan one day that altar calls made him uncomfortable. Meggan explained to him that the feeling of discomfort was God’s conviction. He wanted to draw Dane into a closer relationship. So, Dane and Meggan prayed together, and Dane asked God to be his Savior.

“Did Dane change after that?” I asked Meggan.

“Definitely,” she responded. “I saw him become much more passionate about Christ, for getting to know the Lord and learning about our faith. It actually spurred me into a deeper relationship, too.”

Wedding day – 2007. Image used courtesy of Meggan Love

Dane and Meggan were married in 2007. God has continued to work in their lives both individually and as a couple. For Meggan, that means God is still working to change her heart in the area of expectations of others. She admits that nothing is ever good enough for her.

“It’s always been part of my sin nature,” she revealed. “I remember it when I was little. I’d get presents for my birthday but wonder why I didn’t get more or why this one thing I wanted was left out.

As an adult, specifically as a mother, this presents itself in another way. “I’ll come home from work or running errands when Dane has been at home with the girls, and as soon as I hit the door, I start listing everything that’s wrong…breakfast dishes are still on the table, the kitchen is a mess, the clean clothes haven’t been put into the dryer…” she trailed off, shaking her head. “It isn’t enough that he fed them and kept them alive while I was gone! I never point out the things he has done; I just focus on what I think is lacking. That thing from when I was little, it’s still there. It’s part of my sin nature. It’s getting better though. I feel conviction to see the positives and ignore the negatives, or I am convicted to take a step back before it goes too far and apologize to the person and repent to God. It’s just a work in progress. The older I get, the more I realize that our faith grows as we grow. That’s how it’s supposed to be. We go through seasons. It’s a race to run all the way to the finish, and it’s a cross-country run rather than a sprint. We just have to continue to let Him change our hearts.”

Currently, Meggan’s in the motherhood season of her life; she is mommy to 4 precious little girls: Joyce, Faith, Renzori, and Delaney. This is the race she is running today.

When she sat down across the table from me, before we began our interview for this post, she sighed, “I don’t know, Heather…Servant Girl? I just don’t feel like I am one. I’m just mommy right now. I’m just sitting around nursing my baby.” She gestured over to then 4-month-old Delaney, snoozing quietly in her carrier.

But, I know that God has given everyone a story, and I already knew a little about Meggan’s. I knew you needed to read it so you could see God as He has revealed Himself to Meggan.

She can tell you that God will be with you at your lowest point. There may be a fleeting thought that He’s deserted you, but then you have those quiet moments, like when it’s 3 in the morning and you’re up changing diapers and nursing your newborn, and life “circles back” as Meggan put it, and you see what He was doing in the midst of your pain and suffering.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Now that she’s had time to look back, Meggan can see that God was with her even in that specific moment, about 5 years ago, when He clearly told her something to do, and she said no. “I literally stomped my foot, and said no!” She told me, shaking her head at her own audacity.

But God was still with her.

What did God ask of Meggan that caused such a defiant response? Join me back here next week for Part 2 of Meggan’s story, and I’ll tell you.

Starr Says Stay in Your Lane {A Blog Recommendation}

February 9, 2018February 8, 2018 / hhooks / 2 Comments

“You be you, friend.

And let them be them.”

I was reading the Thirsty Thursday installment of the blog, The Daily Starr, by Starr Haigler, and it was as if she were speaking directly to me here…

“You be you…”

In her blog, Starr has a prescribed theme for each day (#makeovermonday, #trashouttuesday, etc). #thirstythursday posts focus on God and His Word and His promise to give us living water so we don’t have to thirst ever again. In this particular entry, she implored readers to walk the path God had set for them. Her point was that God has given each of us spiritual gifts (she used 1 Peter 4:10-11 to support this), and we are to use them to serve Him, to bring Him glory.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Watch out – she reminds us – Satan will employ one of his age-old tricks to get your attention off your gifts and hinder your ability to do what God has for you to do: comparison. Starr points out, “My gift is not your gift. And if I focus too much on your gift, I’ll miss what God has ahead for me in this journey. If I want everything I do to bring glory to God – I need to be me and use the gifts God has blessed me with.”

Photo Credit: Pinterest

This post was particularly inspiring for me because I am someone who tends to listen to that voice telling me that I’m too shy or what I have to say isn’t very interesting or my past will hinder me from helping people see God.

What Starr had to say here reminded me that God has, in fact, given me gifts. God has given me a path to follow. My path won’t look like anyone else’s because it’s mine. It might be narrow. It might be hard to see what is ahead or where exactly I’m going, but it is the one ordained for me. I need to stay focused on my gifts and my path.

It inspired me to think about what it is God has for me to do during this time He has given me here.

{Plus, the images of the snow in the trees and on the road were beautiful as were the others she included in this post!}

Check out this post, You don’t have to be like everyone else, and note the simple yet poignant prayer at the end.

One read and I’ll bet you’ll want to subscribe to receive your daily dose of encouragement and inspiration. I certainly have.

Photo Credit: The Daily Starr

A Mountaintop Experience: Reflections from a Weekend at The Cove

February 2, 2018 / hhooks / 1 Comment

Sit a spell in a rocking chair on the porch at the Training Center and watch the fog creep in until it completely covers all the blue-gray mountains in the distance.

The “Back Porch” at the Training Center

Amble through the halls and take in the multitude of gifts given to Billy and Ruth Graham over the years as they traveled the world: the pin from Boris Yeltsin, the Russian Nesting Dolls from the Russian Delegation, or the Wooden Pestle from Romania, to list just a few.

If nature is your pleasure, choose a sturdy walking stick and follow the trail as it climbs and twists through the woods and past the creek up to the chapel. Those who are more adventurous can climb 3 miles up to the overlook.

Porter’s Creek on the hiking trail

This past weekend, I passed a sweet time meeting with the Lord during a women’s retreat at The Cove in Asheville. Be Still Mama Women’s Ministry from FBCIT hosted the event and put together a dynamic line-up of godly women to encourage us to “Choose Joy” based on John 15:1-11.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Based on my observation, I heartily recommend that you go on a retreat the next time you have the opportunity. And, if that opportunity happens to take you to The Cove, I encourage you all the more.

To begin with, the venue is absolutely breathtaking, both the surrounding, natural environment as well as the inns, Training Center, and chapel themselves. Although we were there in the middle of winter, the weather was pleasant enough to venture outdoors, walk a few trails, and take in the beautiful mountain scenery. All around you’ll see glossy, smooth magnolia and hearty cedar. It was overcast while we were there, but the heavy clouds hanging low on the mountains and even lower in the trees epitomize the mountains to me.

Imagine what the Graham home might have looked like when Ruth often stood at the door and kissed goodbye her evangelist husband as he went off yet again to carry the gospel to the ends of the earth. Do you see a cozy fire, creaking rocking chairs, soft rugs covering wooden floors, and shelves and shelves of books? That’s what I see, and I imagine that was the inspiration behind the homey, mountain decor that permeates the inns, the Training Center, and the chapel at The Cove.

Suite sitting room in Shepherd’s Inn

We were all crazy about this grand fireplace in the lobby of the Training Center. There were more pictures taken of this than just about anything else!

Chatlos Chapel

If the interior says, “Relax. Pull up your chair and sit by the fire,” the exterior says, “Take notice. Stand tall! You’re nestled into mountain country.” Each building was built with a mix of natural stone and dark, handsome wooden beams.

Shepherd’s Inn

Chatlos Chapel

And, oh the windows! They were everywhere! Some rooms, such as the dining room, had floor to ceiling windows, and lobby of the Shepherd’s Inn, where we stayed, was two-story, featuring windows from the floor to ceiling! The word ‘breathtaking’ just doesn’t even seem adequate to describe what you experience with your eyes.

Shepherd’s Inn Lobby

You don’t just experience The Cove with your eyes though! Your nose and mouth are tantalized as well – at least 3 times a day – at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Truthfully, I hadn’t considered the food as something to look forward to on this trip. But, let me tell you, I was completely and utterly blown away by the amount and quality of food as well as the selections themselves. Breakfast was a buffet of eggs, meats, pastries, fresh fruits, yogurts…I could go on, but breakfast is my favorite meal, and now I’m hungry again. Lunch and dinner included choices such as filet Mignon, grilled shrimp, baked Parmesan chicken, salmon, pork ribs, steamed vegetables, mashed potatoes, salad, rolls, cornbread…you get the picture, right?! I’m not saying you should go to The Cove just for the food, but I’m saying that you won’t be disappointed by it. You’ll probably leave a few pounds heavier than when you came. (I didn’t even mentioned dessert!)

Dining Room in Training Center

The staff was kind and helpful as well. Their demeanor added to the overall hospitable air of the place. Everywhere you were greeted with their smiling faces welcoming you in the door, asking if you needed assistance with anything, or reminding you to help yourself to the coffee, soft drink, or water stations located around the facilities. The folks waiting the tables in the dining room were especially jolly as they begged us over and over to go back for seconds and thirds. “If you leave hungry, it’s your own fault,” one lady kidded us as she refilled our water pitcher.

Now, I would be remiss if I did not also share with you what you are likely to experience on a spiritual level while there. I most certainly encountered the Holy Spirit’s presence; it was there nearly every moment. This was due in part to the group of women there with me, the caliber of speakers and the message they prayed over for weeks and weeks, the worship leader and the music she chose, and the overall design of the retreat itself by the leader of our women’s ministry.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

However, added to that was the idea that this facility itself, everything at The Cove, in fact, was designed with the purpose of bringing people to a place where they can relax, refresh, and experience the Lord. You just…feel His presence. You look out over the mountains, and you encounter majesty and awe knowing that He created those mountains and those trees and those clouds, and He knew you’d be standing there in that moment, feeling so small but not alone. You look at those friendly faces assisting you, and you realize that He made those people, and He gave them attitudes of servitude so they could be His hands and feet. Even the configuration of the furnishings – a grouping of chairs here and there by a fireplace, or a couch nestled in the corner by a bookcase – invited you to breathe in fellowship and experience the Lord’s calming presence.

It’s just a majestic place. The Lord is there! I urge you to go should the opportunity arise. You will be so grateful that you did.

Have you ever been on a retreat? Was it for work, recreation, church, etc? Where did you go? What was your experience there?

Portrait of a Servant Girl – Donna’s Story Part 2

January 26, 2018April 18, 2018 / hhooks / 6 Comments

That time you thought God had left you all alone…that He wasn’t doing anything in your life anymore…that wasn’t true. He was working. He was orchestrating this detail to fit in with that detail so that something extraordinary would come of it. You wanted hamburger steak that very minute, but He had filet mignon on the menu. You just had to wait. Sometimes you have to trust. And wait.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Ask Donna. She knows. She’s lived it. She’s experienced it. And she’ll tell you. It was God the whole time.

(If you haven’t read Part 1 of Donna’s story, please go back to read it, then join us back here).

Donna told me, “My testimony used to be about how God changed me. Now, with Courtney, and everything He’s done in that situation, I truly believe in miracles. I knew they happened before, but I have been part of one now, so I KNOW. I see how God put things together, how He orchestrated everything to work together for our good. I know this doesn’t always apply to earthly comforts,” she continued, “but I cling to God’s promise in Romans 8:28: And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

About 6 months ago, Donna was forced to come face-to-face with something that had been a stronghold in her older daughter Courtney’s life for nearly 8 years: substance abuse and addiction.

For years, there were a multitude of signs that there was a major problem. Donna admits that either she didn’t see them or wouldn’t see them – it was probably a little of both.

“I would catch her in lies; there were several car wrecks and wellness problems; she was always sleepy – I could go on and on,” Donna explained. “Trust me when I tell you that the hardest thing to do as a parent is to let your kids make mistakes and suffer the consequences. Sometimes you just have to step back and put TOUGH LOVE into action.”

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Then there was the time, about 3 ½ years ago, when Donna intended to step in and help. “Courtney and Madison came to spend the weekend with us, supposedly because Steve (Courtney’s boyfriend, and Madison’s father, who she was living with at the time) was horrible, doing drugs, etc. and she ‘just had to get away.’ I believed those lies and really wanted to help her get out of that situation. The only way I could think of making that happen was for her to come stay with us for a while. So, in order to convince Kevin of my great idea, I had a Plan A and a Plan B. I had it all figured out and was ready to present it to him,” Donna smiled, remembering that night when she was ready to tell Kevin her ideas. They’d eaten dinner together after Courtney and Madison had gotten there. “I asked Kevin if we could talk, and we went out into the garage. We get out there, and before I could even say anything, Kevin says, ‘She’s not coming here, Donna. You can’t keep doing this. She won’t learn, and it won’t be good for our marriage’.”

Donna was quiet for a moment, letting the weight of what Kevin said sink in, for herself and for me. She looked straight at me; I could see resolution in her eyes. “This is when I knew for sure that God was Lord of my life, by the way. This conversation with Kevin proved it to me. I had my Plan A and my Plan B all ready for him, but he completely shut me down. I didn’t even get a chance to explain my ideas! I never even asked if the girls could come! Kevin just told me no! Flat out no! I didn’t even get to tell him my plan,” she emphasized. “But, when he told me no, I just said ‘ok’, and I was honestly ok with it. It was like God just said, ‘Donna go ahead and submit.’ And I did. And I was ok. I knew Kevin was right, and that I should respect him. That is when I realized God truly had changed me and truly was in control of my life.”

You might be thinking, ‘how could anyone say that kicking out your child was still the best thing that could have happened?’

Well, there’s still more.

Over the next 3 year period, Donna dealt with theft as Courtney stole from her, even her identity! There were “lies on top of lies on top of lies,” as Donna put it. She even had to call DSS to ensure Madison’s safety. “Some days it seemed like they were doing good, and then other days — well, not so good,” Donna said.

In June 2016, Courtney had another baby, Mackenzie. She seemed to be doing good for the first few months after Mackenzie was born, but again, things were up and down.

Then in 2017, Courtney totaled her car one morning after dropping Madison off at school. Courtney told Donna (much later) that the first thing she saw when the wreck was over was Mackenzie’s car seat. It was empty, and she couldn’t remember if Mackenzie had been with her. She was under the influence at the time and couldn’t recall where Mackenzie was, so for a few frantic moments, some bystanders searched feverishly for the baby…until Courtney remembered she’d left Mackenzie with the baby’s father, Steve.

This crash landed Courtney in the hospital. And drug tested. This was a wake up call for Courtney, but it wasn’t “rock bottom” yet.

A few months later, Courtney would get high at Donna and Kevin’s house during a visit. No one realized it until everyone was back in the car taking Courtney and the girls home.

Donna recalled the scene for me. “We were all in the car together taking them back home when Madison asked, ‘Mommy, why are you talking funny again? Why are you laying all over me?’ I looked back and Courtney is laughing all weird and leaning over on Madison and then over onto Mackenzie.”

Donna said, “I nudged Kevin and said, ‘Look at her! She is high right now’!” Donna looked straight at me and said, “Heather, if my granddaughters hadn’t been in the car, I would have put Courtney out on the side of the road right there! But I couldn’t do that in front of them.”

Instead, they went ahead to Courtney’s uncle’s house where she was currently living. On the way, they called Steve and Courtney’s Uncle David and Aunt Beth. Once Steve arrived and the girls were safe, Donna left.

This was Courtney’s rock bottom.

About two weeks later, Courtney called Donna confessing her problem and her need for help. “I need somewhere to go now, mom,” Courtney insisted. So, Donna gave her some places to call, and Courtney was able to go to a 7-day detox facility in Monroe. The next step would hopefully be a treatment center.

Here’s where you begin to see how God was working in the situation, and it is so awesome:

Donna was praying. Kevin was praying. Everyone was praying: “Lord, Courtney has to get long-term treatment immediately! Right now! You’ve got to open a bed somewhere. Please show us the place You want her to go.”

Prior to this, Donna had gotten involved in a prayer group with some friends, praying specifically for their wayward, adult children. Each mom picked a day/time to pray so that these adult children were covered every day of the week. Donna’s day is Tuesday.

As it happened, on a Wednesday morning, Donna emailed this prayer group, her Life Group, and the G2 Leadership Team (a Women’s Mentoring ministry from FBCIT in which Donna serves) asking them to pray for God to do a miracle and open a bed somewhere for Courtney.

Then, that Wednesday night after choir practice, Donna got a call from a friend in the prayer group, who got a call from another lady from the group who saw Donna’s email and was asking if she’d heard of a place in Monroe called the Solace Center, facilitated by pastor Michelle Feliciano, and best of all, they had a bed available right then!

Donna called them on Thursday morning to see exactly what kind of facility it was, and it sounded just like what they’d been looking for, so she called Courtney and told her of their availability and to call herself to see if it would be a fit.

Courtney called, got an appointment to see them on Friday, went for her Orientation on Saturday, and checked in that very day at 1:30!!!

You see, long before this ever happened, God had this special prayer group of moms planned. God had already set it into motion for Donna to be a part of that group. God put all of this together to get Donna in touch with a friend of a friend who knew about the Solace Center where God had a bed available…just for Courtney. (There were lots of others from Donna and Kevin’s family, friends, and Life Group praying for Courtney as well. Donna and Kevin are thankful for each and every prayer).

Today, Courtney is transformed beyond anything Donna could have hoped. She is clean and sober and on fire for the Lord! She is already almost halfway through the program. She has a job and pays weekly rent at the center. The best part, though, is that Courtney has now made Jesus the Lord of her life! See, she asked Jesus into her heart years ago, but she strayed. However, God brought her to a point of confession and repentance, and Courtney has not been the same since.

Courtney with Madison (Image used courtesy of Donna Lawing)

Courtney with Mackenzie (Image used courtesy of Donna Lawing)

What’s more, Donna and Kevin have found opportunities to serve together in ministry at Solace. They serve on the Solace Board and their Life Group ministers to the Solace group as well. Most recently, they had a blast bringing in the new year 100% clean and sober (and no hangover the next day) at a party with the Solace residents.

Donna and Kevin’s Life Group team for the Solace Kick Addiction Kickball Tournament (Image used courtesy of Donna Lawing)

Donna, Madison, and Courtney at the Solace New Years Eve party (Image used courtesy of Donna Lawing).

Donna with Pastor Michelle Feliciano of the Solace Center (Image used courtesy of Donna Lawing)

“I’ve been mad at God about this,” Donna shared, “and I have been mad at Courtney, but now I just look at all that He has done through something so terrible! He restored my family. The relationship between my daughter and me has been fully restored; and many other family relationships have been restored through this! He has transformed my daughter’s life and just 2 weeks ago, Madison asked Jesus into her heart. My husband and I are serving together in ministry outside the walls of church. I’ve learned how to have empathy and compassion for people who have been jailed or who suffer from addiction. God has shown me so many things. He changed me from who I was, and that alone was enough, but then He’s done so much more.”

Donna’s daughters and granddaughters (Image used courtesy of Donna Lawing)

Christmas Morning 2017 (Image used courtesy of Donna Lawing)

I could tell she was excited, so I asked her what she wanted people to know about God. Without hesitation, she answered, “He is real! What He did, sending his Son to die on the cross for us, He didn’t have to do. He’s a good, good Father. There is nothing better. He wants a relationship with us. He loves YOU, and He wants YOU to come back. He wants to talk to you. How? Through prayer. This is our communication with our Lord, and it is also our weapon, along with the Sword (the Word), against Satan.” She paused for a minute so I could catch up as I quickly scribbled in my notes.

More calmly and quietly she continued, “He was the ultimate servant. What if we all served…each other?! We should because Jesus served, and serving is love.”

Photo Credit: Pinterest

So, this is another story God has given one of His servant girls. And she was gracious enough to allow me to write it so you could know God – who He is, what He can do, and how deeply He loves us.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Just for fun…

Here are a few fun tidbits about Donna:

I asked what actress would play her in a movie about her life. She said, “Reese Witherspoon or Julia Roberts. I LOVE them!” She said the movie would most likely be something inspirational or encouraging.

Reese Witherspoon

Julia Roberts

Donna loves Christian music!

Chris Tomlin – Donna’s Favorite artist – Photo Credit: Pinterest

This is Donna’s current favorite song to dance to and sing at the top of her lungs! Listen to Old Church Choir by Zach Williams

You can listen to Donna’s most favorite song of all time, Thou, O Lord performed by First Baptist Cleveland choir and orchestra.

Please join me next week for another post from Servant Girl Stories.